50 an hour

 How come everytime I make a decision I get an offer?

$50 an hour, but being an employee and probably 40 hour time commitment.

I won't be able to take Alex to his speech therapy appointments, gone. 

Won't get further in my goal of creating a home based business. Will I?

I was going to do life insurance for the money. How much to earn in life insurance? 10k and deal with people and do a presentation and it's 1099 so do it on my own time. 

The fact taht I'm even considering it means I'm not fully committed to what I said.

What kind of parent do I want to be? and is taking this contract pull me further away from my goal.

In NYC, I was always searching where I was highest paid but I missed the carrot. I wasn't building longevity, and no one told me. I had to save myself. 

What am I building to last? Even life insurance I feel like its another hack. Am I really committed? And what am I committed to? 

That's the question.