Walks in the Park

Today  there was a shift in the spirit I have received a deposit A seed of faith, and of trust I get it God It will happen because you said it would happen I no longer need to think in terms of 'am i good enough' and the self depreciating thoughts that follow after It is good because you said it is good and I am happy  because what you have for me is amazing!!!! Thank you for this gift of faith this gift of acceptance You truly are working this out for my good You are finishing what you started Its been 7 years! and you are still working this out! Thank you Lord!!! I love you!!!

I want a business, a goal to take up my time and my eyes and my ears and my thoughts and free time It will bring income it will satisfy with money will come options, I can get ahead in my goals I need a business, this is the perfect time But I committed to these classes I committed to my deadlines and as I get healthy and healthier I will gain the skills, I will draw the line, I will bring income I will get rid of all the rest of the foolishness

I was tired I've been sick I laid down it was a thing I've been doing lately I'm talking to you and you start talking about sex Like that is the topic and its happened the last couple of times and today I realize you associate me with sex its like a movie in your head so we should stop talking I will heal soon and be able to resume to the things I usually do I thought people coming back to my life is cool now I'm realizing I don't want to deal with the things they bring to it specifically, men being attracted to me still uncomfortable with that fact its nice to be desired by the person you love or are admiring but if not in love or in admiration of no one then the admiration of others what is the point? where does the love go? like the guy in the head wrap used to say I don't want to be admired or be seen as perfect or be asked to be seen I am aware I am found beautiful but sometimes I don't want to be found or seen j

I thought we were friends I thought we were cool we're adults now older now so our conversations are how's the wife how are the kids how dare you tumble with the delicacy of these things. Am I a bad friend to Karen and Randall because I forgot to call on Sunday? Or am I that friend that chases old friends trying to keep the momentum? Today I saw a picture of you and you looked like a different person but when we talk it's all the same Could it be you are just a person that is completely different around their friends? There is a group of guys and they stand a certain way and in that circle, it's uncomfortable to be a girl in that mix back to the creep or my friend who are you? who were you yesterday? were you drunk or were you weird why did you act that way why did you act like I was just an object a doll, a perfect little creature that is always ready for pictures One for which you asked for I am riled enough to write about this becau

Since I learned about the Sabbath, the day of rest the holy day keep it apart but now I question because of how hard it is to keep it I'm missing my old ways when had the Saturdays to myself but I see my friends running around and I am at home at rest due to my injury and I see how peaceful it is to do nothing but my busybody personality likes to be busy all the time and isn't it good to stop and get in touch with myself and get in touch with God how to stop and reset so hard for me Is it easy for everybody else? I've been doing it for over a year now is the time to keep going or to stop which one is right? which one is wrong? Can I keep this up? or is it only something I can do due to my simple life I have at this moment but not something I can keep as life gets busier. no se, no se oh well, oh well Figure it out, I pray

Otro cumpleanos otro ano mas Todo este tiempo y aqui donde estas? I am here I exist and the past is a comfort isn't it? when we think of the good memories and the people we shared it with I have always been future minded until the present gave me what I needed Looking at the future now I see so many possibilities Like never before it feels like everything is close all my dreams and aspirations at a hand's touch but maybe a year, or two, or five? but its not my reality if you see it in the mirror but I am filled with hope and possibility I will work hard and turn ashes into gold in God bringing these people from the past into my life now I feel a rekindling, a healing, a passing of the torch a warmness like the wax in the candle right after it burns so hot but so moldable and then moments later, it stays in the shape you put it in my life is this way now, moldable fixable and in the space between the raindrops between the mountain tops t