I was tired

I was tired
I've been sick

I laid down
it was a thing I've been doing lately

I'm talking to you
and you start talking about sex

Like that is the topic
and its happened the last couple of times
and today I realize
you associate me with sex

its like a movie in your head
so we should stop talking

I will heal soon and be able to resume
to the things I usually do

I thought people coming back to my life is cool
now I'm realizing I don't want to deal with the things they bring to it

specifically, men being attracted to me
still uncomfortable with that fact

its nice to be desired by the person you love or are admiring
but if not in love or in admiration of no one
then the admiration of others

what is the point?
where does the love go? like the guy in the head wrap used to say

I don't want to be admired
or be seen as perfect
or be asked to be seen

I am aware I am found beautiful
but sometimes I don't want to be found
or seen

just heard

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