Walks in the Park

is it so hard to say? I want to go to work Go to school, pick up my son Go home, cook or go outside with him and play Have a car for now, later on we can ride on bikes or motorcycle The point is spending time with him and having a job that makes 80,000 be able to save pay off the 30k student loan in the next 2 years Live somewhere where rent is $500 to $600 and hot weather most of the months end of the road married david naomi you know this house where every night i go and lay outside by the water in my boardwalk and be able to hear the night breeze  and talk to God and listen back ideally the life that's being created for me

All my life I've been looking for community but it actually looks like is me looking for solace I like what the solidarity I find in my walks in the park I feel truly at home there in the wind, at night, looking up at the stars I yell out to God to see that he can hear my ex could never understand this And even so, every new relationship was a chance to find a community but the community was short lasted and i have to stand as one a community of two will soon follow and even then, i stand alone in my beliefs and my convictions but standing, nonetheless soon, sometime in life, i will find my own community

annoyed when you help me annoyed when you don't help without feeling guilty or without giving me lessons i already know all of this doesnt connect with me, with my soul independence is all i want it keeps not happening of some sort

Do i want a man that says the word billion that's a word coming out of his mouth i've been seeing your life from far away wonder when we will meet, if its all a fantasy and i know people dont believe like i do but God is great, and great are his prophecies We have similatiries. but i want to be me, yes motivate and speak and work, the work that goes together. i want to be free. like work and have a business and be able to pick up my son from school is the dream have life be run by me. my terms my solutions make a jump jump higher yeah life is not living unless you are taking some risks

Got no one to call i haven't been praying its been filled with silence i know i'm not alone. and i know he's got my back and i have to trust. i have to trust. and not worry but its so hard for me to let the time pass i make phone calls to new old friends and the list gets shorter and i feel lonely for the first time in a long time. lonely in the sense of having too much time on my hands. and looking for ways to fill it up. what am i supposed to do? am i doing the right thing? i gottta let go of fear.  and make the jump, once again.

what is this feeling is it lonely? no it doesn't have its pang. is it losersome? like something i had got lost away? maybe. is it lust like the sand that keeps drifting away is it wonder, or dread of the future, that is ahead they say be positive they say believe, have faith i've been positively believing for so long what happens when ur dream life keeps not happening and you haven't had the opportunities yet, to accomplish all that you can and time keeps passing like the tick tock and we drift it away with entertainment, to ignore the current pain