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Showing posts from May, 2024

So vulnerable

 in this space best friend were are you kev no messages yet Jenny no answer yet so disconnected and then i wonder if im too annoying but its just how it is its hard to get used to this new reality kev i'm managing my disappointment obvi hard to not feel rejected but mostly i'm thinking of how i wished things could go i used to talk to the guy in the cardboard box he had a big ad in the florida sky sign it was so much, such rush of feeling i feel like over there i cared about the people i cared about them did they care about me am i so used to the chase that's just how it be? and why cannot I let go  and why do i think of them so much? i call rose every week when i was there i was so busy commuting, at least an hour or two each way my time in the beach, it was limited. would walk it and discover new things post because it was fun today I thought of newt and real estate  and when will I get into that build something, to show for. 

I spent so much time

 thinking about you the promise the things God had said the future i planned,  the waiting, the believing, the action. i'm in a preparation season but like obviously of what I have on my side my son, myself and lack of investments lol I wanted you to come along and love me, of course I was looking to be all that you required, love being something in which you might have to give some things up to get what you wanted I had no idea I could find a well of water inside myself, peace and abundance inside of myself I want to become the me that I SEE owns real estate, has things and can easily give. teaches, guides, is valuable i spent so much time now i spend my time with the things i signed up for this year my sons's school, this job, this bootcamp. foundational, laying a brick with the desire to move so deep inside of me and afraid that life will be this, living someone else's life or filter grateful for the time together but missing the depth of deep conversations missing the d

Things I need

 underwear for mom socks for Alex a pink scrub or something would be nice. summer clothes are in mom's house. 

ah ah there we go again

today i had a call and i was like what if i get into this career  and meet amazing uplifting career guided people like the person i was talking to it was like talking to myself the leadership and the likeliness its interesting you say el no me ha mandado mensaje este fin de semana la weekend y ya  i'm sure he'll text again and what should be the response? at least I'm glad I didnt follow his flow and in the space of being apart its helped me get back into mine and not be in anxiety, that was not cool

Convo with DeAundre- I CAN DO THIS! I AM A LEADER!

 - TDP helps me get real life experience -career prep best with people new to cyber security prep -look up job descriptions, am I ready? I said, how do I knew? Linked In workshop, resume shop, recordings for this year.  I will send those to you. In there are a lot of different documents.  Lot of tidbits and advice that I put in there.  Not BC related. things that I know that work. COMMON DENOMINATOR- THEY DID NOT APPLY FOR THE JOB through networking and recruiters. Don't rush this process. If you do, you will be part of the group that are struggling to get a job. Harder to get entry-level role, than a mid level and senior level job.  Don't have the experience. I have never been part of any other bootcamp. no other bootcamp I know of, whether to be 1 month or 4 month to work in part of a 500 fortune company. Building a PCI posture. never had PCI Compliance. Experience you'll be able to get here, and speak to in an interview is way more valuable than what is inside the CASP p

I deserve

 a love that is all mine to be chosen to not be triggered by rejection  and past  and sinking feelings that go into the concrete like trash Kansas is 15 hours from beach, the lady said she went from there to NJ Cape May and she was happy because it was an hour away Everyone buys a home and sends kids to school, 15 years. Settle somewhere I feel like the butterfly Every day I fight the urge to move having a kid didn't change that in me to be honest didn't know I was so much like this until I went free the land I desire porque espero que el me diga algo? hoy mire a su cara, directamente el no se dio cuenta just like I thought, he was there I was correct in that assessment it would have been a mistake but yeah, it happened. I JUST HATE THAT IT ALL REMINDS ME OF ANGEL. YEAH, ANGEL THAT ASSHOLE. How all these emotions live in me the good the bad and I have access to them all control your emotions, do not give into the fears. it comes and goes. it comes and goes. I gotta rock myself

Chris interview- review again and refine the notes.

 how would you scope on the auditor side of PCI DSS? I need to see the inventory list. I need all your paperwork, all your policies. I believe working along with any network engineers will establish  your environment, what is your segmentation look like.  a lot of business, how are they goign to route all these services? any source, any destination. let's talk about. how are you securing this data? where is it at? that is important. another that the coucil provides. you establish your levels, your milestone. all those results will come along. what if the client does not store or process or transmit credit card data? how wold you  or maybe they are a service provider? who is your ASV. we need to know that to establish this assessment. the QSA will break it down. that AOC for you, we will establish, because you still have to make this extra research. we need to confirm that information. Q: if you are the QSA I will be soon. If you are the QSA and the client says we don't touch cr

Boyd interview

Tips: Research the company Be honest (do you want to move? not particularly) Boyd Clewis, do it on evenings. Know the company. Talk about recent news and developments (Boyd mentions ghost stores) PARTICIPATING ORGANIZATION AND TRAINING FOR ISAs -Boyd said he told the last company what that would do for the company and the training that is available. If they would become a participating organization. Research what this is.  -Let the conversation flow, be yourself. Elevator speech- On PCI DSS is the framework that companies that store process or transmit credit card data have to abide by annually, now they have to be compliant everyday but compliance has to be validated annually.  And if for some reason we are not compliant there are fines and penalties associated with that and we can even lose the ability to process payments and so, ultimately this framework is the framework that we can use to stay out of the news for credit card breaches, data breaches those type of things. Q: How do y

TDP

 once you join the consulting groups and you start working the live assessments  first assignment is scoping with client whiskey.  haven't certified since 2021 5 regions around the world non- PCI compliance team

Staying up these nights

 and i cant sleep something is unrest in my soul, i can already feel it its been brewing i'm tired of speaking and not being understood i'm tired of being in charge of someone happiness not matter what i do i feel like theyre not happy i refuse to explain myself further why did you go away? why so far away? Can a psychologist tell you? if i have to tell you what is the point. the train, you didn't like the train i rode.  what does that have to do with me? i rode a train to visit you, you have a problem with that. and bring Alex into it. always alex always horrible, all i do. good enough for me, not for my kid. horrible horrible, horrible I'm sick of all this shit, for real scared I'll leave  call cops because walk is too long my independence threatens you we want you to be stable the new thing  its always a thing that I'm missing huh hubbie career now its stability Can I be left alone and that's it to fight this battle i have to care less idk what to do ever