Walks in the Park

Then there are times When I wonder what is the point of it all all the life I have lived and all its hardship and how I am not sharing it with anyone else in my art or my writings my gifts and all my things in 5 or 10 will I matter? do I matter now? Most of my life in my mind I console myself with being future minded then when that disappointed, I dreamed some new dreams with every new opportunity I kept believing it would happen I am too much with God to know otherwise I have faith, I have pride I know my life is going in a certain trajectory but I am aware talks like these creep people out or maybe they creep me out in that they mark me as different When I speak I speak of my current situation and I hate that talk before I feel so far removed but its the truth. My house is a mess, I am always behind catching up with a bill but I have all I said I wanted. time with my son, pick and drop off to school. I have time to write, but instead I

I miss you girl you who runs with the wind you who writes in twilight no matter the candle light twin I miss you girl who dares to fight for her dreams and her hair's worn natural, curlyesque and brilliant, eh, mind you say? I miss  you son all the times I missed the way your cheek curved into those dimples and all the ways you walked and talked and things you did while you were in daycare and I was at work or in class making money to pay for these walls that you care nothing about and your memories of them will probably fade when its time to remember I miss our walks in the parks in Jersey Saturdays sitting by the riverside and the NY buildings right there on the other side and the wedding photographer taking pictures of newlyweds and how we walked, and how we played and inside in my mind how I prayed and thanked God for such peaceful days I miss you Angel, not really no I miss the girl you used to know she was not like me, no, s