Toastmasters Speech 1: Icebreaker Who is Auris?

My name is Auris. 

I am from  an island called Dominican Republic, it's tropical its beautiful and we eat a lot of coconuts and green plantains. I come from a family where my grandfather had 13 kids. So I come from a big family of aunts, uncles, and countless cousins. My whole family migrated to USA except for 1 uncle (lawyer) and 1 aunt (doctor). The rest moved their families in the hope for a better life, more opportunities. 

 We came here for a better life. That translated into 10 people in a 2 bedroom apartment in 25th St in Bayonne NJ. that place was a hub, for a new couple would move in, then they would work in factories (only place hiring immigrants I guess) and they would save up until they can move out. 

 So far, only me and my brother and 1 cousin graduated college. 

I came to NJ in Nov 25th, 1995 at age 10. I got on a plane on the first time, saw how clouds looked like up close. Got out and saw snow for the first time. I didn't like it. Alas, 22 years later I still didn't like it.

I was taught my whole life that I did not matter. My opinions, decisions, my wants, my needs, they did not matter. It was not directly said, (pause) but it was said. 

In 2017, I was miserable and I made a list of what would make me happy. What does Auris want. I had a kid now and my mom would constantly chastise me saying 'do what's best for Alex!' But what she really meant to say is, Do what I tell you to do and I'll use the tools of guilt and manipulation to force you into doing it. Then there my friends. 

My childhood friends wanted me to get a man, have more kids, then give my kid to a babysitter so that I could go out and party with them. I was not interested. My mom wanted me to be her slave: work pay bills and clean everything and do all the things she didn't feel like doing. My kid wanted a constant supply of milk, hugs, love and toys.

I was depleted from constantly not being what everyone expected me to be.  I started thinking, what do I want? What makes me happy? The last time I was happy was in Dominican Republic. I grew up with a beautiful aunt that hugged me everyday and told me she loved  me and my mom loved me. It was her me, my sister and her son that was my cousin. We were 4 and they were my world. We went and did everything together. It was paradise. She walked me to school and she picked me up. I would come home and she would teach me how to read and go over the school work. I was important. Again, not said but it was said. They were the best childhood memories.

I realized my entire life up to that point was decided by other people. My whole family had decided to migrate to a small town of Bayonne, NJ from the beautiful island of Dominican Republic. They traded palm trees and sunny skies for darkness at 6pm and heavy winter storms that would leave snow that would take ours to dig out of the driveways and cars. I wanted to make a decision about my life (besides going away to college years earlier and getting that done). Check.

So I wrote it all down, what does Auris want. I want grass at my feet, and abundance of sun and skies. I want warm weather climate all year round. I was tired of working in NY and commuting 1.5 hours to my home. Only seeing my son at night and weekends. And I was tired of all my money going to a life that I hated. I hated taking 3 different trains, I hated paying rent living with people that I did not want to live with. I was tired of the cold winds that would chase me as I waited for the bus or the trains. 

Slowly but surely things started to change and 3 years later I am here (where is here? not there!!) I have everything that I want and that I need and most importantly: now I have peace, and I am able to listen to me. I am so grateful and thankful to have you listen to me today and listen to my story. I hope you too write lists of things that you want and I hope you too have the courage to take action to make them happen. Though the world many pull you and want to take you into different directions, remember the answers you need, they are already within. Take a moment to listen.

The end.