I feel ignored, common

 I feel ignored, common

I transfigured myself to fit the box and their rules

and their fumes and annoyances with the things in the world 

that I was interested in

So I kept my visions to myself,

hiding away like a turtle inside a shell

Showing you what I thought you wanted to see

The worst part is, the performance was too great

You believed that was the real me

What happens if we let our true power shine? 

Our greatness show?

Will you back down, will you then leave me alone?

I was so afraid of the lonileness, of being the only one standing

with no one by my side

But this year has forced me to face it

Sometimes, the place you are going you are going to be alone in the pursuit

Pursuit of happiness,

pursuit of an idea

A vision in your mind that you want to turn into reality

You moved away from your son but you used to critize her for doing the same thing

It's funny how things change once you are the one benefitting,

for a relationship. The irony, oh boy.

I ain't judging, just see the contradiction. 

You came at me like shooting you down was the mission

You must not know me but I know it wasnt about me

You do not like being challenged

But its funny because you challenge everything else in the world.

But back to me, back to us, there is no us just me God and my son

Why did they lie and said that that wasn't enough?

When you are told you are in lack you always looking for the missing part

But no, this is me. And this is my life. And I am not a statistic, Isaura

Funny I reach out to see how you are doing you don't even bother

scheduling a call, not committed I see or maybe ashamed to speak to me?

I'm not sure. I wanted to talk to you, share my experience

Same with Lateya, we haven't had that talk

and Marvin, he didn't call me back for that.

I guess honesty is overrated. Everyone just wants to be appreciated.

I did have the talk with Lateya, but I did want to have a talk to see how she is doing, 

but she never made that time. I see her posting on her timeline. And Sherin's cousin I hit her up, can we talk? and she never responded

The funny thing about social media is that it is not that social.

The whole point is to connect but when you reach out, no one wants to talk

They just want your like on their pictures.

I remember when Nasean was judging me for not liking his pictures. Like I had time to be on Facebook.

He was judging me by his standards, common fallacy.

But still, I needed a friend and I allowed him into my life. It was good until it wasn't.

Ryan, I think you didn't believe in me.

Dre, I think you love me but me and you are just not meant to be. I feel nothing there.

Angel, you brought back all those feelings but I kept waiting on you to confirm

Your lack of action completely turned me off. I want to be there for you until you find someone else. Be there for your son, your wife, your kid. Stop playing out this twisted fantasy with me.

And I judged Yomeiry but I was doing the same thing, emotions, they are a tricky thing. 

They make you do, illogical things. I am done. But I am committed to becoming my best self.

Lord, here I am! I am in mud! You must show me, how to get out of here. You said FL was next.

That means there must be a way. Work it into existence. Don't just speak. Words are cheap.

Well, they work when they are the only thing you have, words and blind faith and the willingness to take another step. 

The willingness to take another step. 

I'm willing. Show me the way.