You were confident

 You were yourself

you said there was something in me that you didn't like

the emotional instability

the emotions, the intensity of them. It scared you

so you threw me away 

out on Mondays like I was trash

easily came in my life, easily left

It was so easy

just like the second time

I want to be fought for

You are not it

but why am I so mad?

They were the actions of a 21 year old back then

and can I blame you so much for leaving?

idk but it breaks my heart that you did

when I most needed you left

I am mad at you

I am mad at myself

that after all these years I can still cry about these things

I am sad that you left, sad that you didn't stay

when I look back you were only there really for a little bit more than a week or two, was it?

it wasn't long

then why, in my memory is it engrained?

and why when we got along so well it was hard to accept?

Why is it now its 428am, 7 years later, I am still crying about this shit?

I am connecting with my inner child the affirmation talk says

I am speaking directly with my inner child

My father left, or we left him. I get it. Why does it have such a big effect?

Lesly is happy in a relationship even my mom got into a fucked up relationship.

Auris is always single, its like a curse that I have accepted. 

No, I am not mad at where I am at. Well, part of me is.

Why cant I figure out how to make money outside of a job?

Everyone else seems to have it worked out.

Ndu's house looked like a mansion.

and he fucked with Annie, like really fucked up.

People get second chances, must my life be affected so strongly by these mistakes?

How to turn it around? How to leave it there in the past and out of my emotions

like ghost I don't want to be hunted by anymore?

Yo no se.

You were confident, you were yourself

you acted like I always wanted a man to act

and I fell for it, I feel so stupid