Today 8/28/20

 Friday spent day with mom

This morning I cancelled the 2pm call 

and the call with Tia Margot was cancelled too

It was good, I was super tired

I called my sister

She is engaged, she said yes, she had no idea

She said it's an out of body experience

She's pregnant and she has a ring in her finger. 

She said she never thought about those things.

Unlike me, I obsessed about them since 15.

It was like a death sentence

Happy for her but honestly I looked at me

and said I am the only unmarried one now

Dang, that sucks, I thought. 

Why do people accomplishing something makes us diminish our own lives?

I don't know I think it's natural comparison. 

I talked to Suya today and Valentina's school sent her a computer. I'm like dang 

Alex' school won't do that and I did homeschool so I got no options right now, gotta figure out this homeschool, again a twinge of jealousy, a twinge of what if, a twinge of you are a failure, you are not in a school system that would have your son a computer.

Now these are all feelings, the truth is we got a office and a laptop at home (the one sister sent).