I read

These posts from 2014-2015 

and it made me cry

Oh Lord how the things I wanted inside

I now have

a place to call my own

a hot weather environment

a home for my son.

Amazing.

Back then life was so unbearable, today it was a car ride with my mom and aunt

They took every chance to correct and tell me what I am doing wrong,

Even the appearance of doing something wrong. They have no idea what or who I am

Everything I say, gets unheard, my aunt accused me of what? of giving my son chocolate muffin

I said, no he said he wants one that doesn't mean he will get one.

Aunt was telling my mom, if we weren't here Auris will give Alex sweets. 

It's like no one was hearing what I was saying. What is the point in speaking?

It's the only way they know to show they care. Criticize everything they see.

I feel now, urgency. Too much, dependency. They want to see me gain.

And classes don't pay bills. I get it, she can't do it anymore. It's been 2 years.

Enough is enough, huh. I get it, No really I do. I have been wanting to let it go.

But I understand I must. Call you next month, September. Well that is tomorrow.

Today you handed me $100 for the month. I get a check on the 9/18 unless it changes without me letting it be known. 

I need to call you and say, I got it, don't send money anymore. Even if I get work at subway, and if I hear you are not doing anything, you are not working, once again.

I am homeschooling my child, child is not going to school this year. Falls in deaf ears. 

All they think is produce, produce, no one cares of what I have to go through. It is expensive being broke.

Because life passes you by, and the dreams, they stay inside.