Revelation

 I don't like to clean!

or more like it doesn't get done

Is it me? my energy? I worked so hard for McDonalds, I would get home and it was a mess all the time.

I used to have a mattress and I put it in the bedroom and there was a time we laid in it all day.

I had no energy for anything but my grief. My old pastor and the way she treated me.

Ready for me to serve, but not ready when it was time for me to leave.

It was crazy really. She didn't say thank you, and I did so much. I wonder if she felt entitled.

They used my love for God as a resource for me to give and give and give.

But I could not even get $5 from a member, and he works. What kind of Christianity is this?

American Christianity, sis. They talk Jesus died for us and sacrificed it all, but we are not willing to do anything for anyone. Then what is the point? That is not what Jesus taught.

and I would greet these people and they would say nothing back. I learned to take it in stride but Lord, how it confused me. I do not understand. But alas, I am in a foreign land.  And I wonder what it was all for, honestly. 

Takoya found a way to make money online, but then the days got filled up by filling up orders. Is that what we signed up for? She says she wants to hand it off and for someone else to do the work. I wish I had money to buy up that business. There is so many opportunities that could be done in the marketing department. She mentioned Etsy store then amazon? I forget, but there is multiple sites. Its all working out.  She found a supplier then repackages it, and it goes off.