But my body won't stop

 with these feelings

they rise up, refusing to be ignored

Why, 7 years later

because you never wanted to feel me, they say

Oppressed, pushed down, silenced. They say

I am here! Hear me roar! 

they take over, the tears they flowing

I feel all the rejection and mistakes that our love created

the loss, the disappointment, the trust and love I gave

the walking away that almost broke me.

I need to create, something else. Well I have!

A compelling future and mission, a way to provide for my kid

I did it all, I moved on, bossed up, did all of that.

But still you come back, and I am the same girl

The one who wrote poems, the one that is vulnerable with you

The one who still feels the connection, the pull towards you.

Stop it, I say, emotions go away

But this week they took over my body. Maybe you are back

its been nice not to talk and to have you not reaching out

Maybe you forgot, or are doing your thing having fun not remembering

why do I feel alone in all of this? Because it meant so much to me, means so much to me

I guess it was different for you, but you said you spent 2 years down

but that was around your current situation

How easy was it to push past the thought of us?

I hate that you said we were a thought, but it was a fight, all this time

I believe you, I hope you don't lie. Let's get to the bottom of this

air this dirty laundry

But my body won't stop

emotions taking me over

not wanting me to dismiss them anymore

There is a lot of brokenness here.

I hope you survive, live well, and kiss