to publish

I've been wanting it for so long

I was on a call and they reminded me of my goal

sometimes I get so focused, then i lose it

start thinking on other things

even right now, the same thing is happening no

focus on the money 

and that ends up taking all my time

what have you been doing this year

son, waiting, a lot of waiting, a lot of praying, a lot of searching

a lot of asking, Lord how can I get out of this?

a lot of wondering, a lot of distracting myself looking at all those movies and shows

of people that do better, that have other lives and then

getting into church and the bible studies the one thing that was good in my life

feeling lost, feeling scared, wondering how to get out

how to make income again

that has been the mindset, being there for my son but also being distracted, as well

I haven't looked up homeschooling schools. well i have, they all have a cost and then we go back

to the #1 concern, the money. other concern is not feeling accepted into this new religion and wondering if they are right and coming up with all the ways that they are wrong.

It's like I joined a super crazy society. and i tell no one about it. Noone knows if you don't share.

Why am I staying up to talk, its like the interview was so deep.  Today I was ready to clean the floors finally. oh, but the hip. started hurting at Walmart then when I got in. so i am laying here, doing what I do. writing, my first release, my first love, mi coqui.