What is the point of being friends?

 All the things you do for people, and they forget about it

They move on, they do not hold on

I want to find a tribe, so does everyone

Even Jesus had his Judas

Marvin, you were there for me

And I, I see it now I wonder if it got you mad

Did it, at all?

But my stuff, its like the same replaying record. I genuinely feel bad, 

it doesn't mean that it was the wrong decision. It worked for me 

and the things I have done in my life since, Its good you weren't around for that

And I wasn't around for you. I remember that email, you reached out you said hey let's be friends.

And I said no, I meant what I said. The purpose for our friendship to exist has faded. 

There is no reason now. You didn't agree. When you reached out, I was still mad.  So mad. I couldn't 

get over it.

But it was all a thing I realize. I am mad, I experience this anger and the person's name comes up and 

like red riding hood I am hiding from the wolf. But the wolf is in me.

It turns its ugly head. I am so angry, always at men. But it is not them that incurs this anger.

It's the missed love, the abandonment. Some people love that brokeness.

Angel, I realize its a low vibration of me to reach out to you and to talk to you.

Because you do not support the highest self.

I said I wanted to tell him how hard life was, Jane said he does not deserve it.

She is right, But I have to say it. Those thoughts have to come out of my mouth.

Why did I like when he told me what to do? I guess I felt cared for, listened to.

Am I abusing? I am not sure. Maybe the reason I ask the question means that I am.

Why cut off Andre? He wants to be there for me too much. and the energy talking to him can be used towards talking to someone else. It's interesting when you think you know your partner,

and there they are, talking to someone else. 

All these feelings and emotions, all this time left to explore them. We all have our internal stories.

Still, it was cool debating with you. It was cool, being away from the toxic environment. 

We all out here, trying to figure it out. I remember your apartment, you had the weirdest thing I arranged for it to get taken out. I came with opinions and desire to help, you, you did not mind it back then.