Hooking Up

When I was in college, there was something called 'hooking up.' I'm not sure if people still use the term now, but back then it was an inconspicuous term. It could mean anything. When you asked your roommate, 'so what happened between you and the guy last night?' And she would reply 'We hooked up.' It could mean anything from first base all the way up to home run. It could mean a kiss, it could mean that they did it raw. Who knows? You would have to ask a series of  follow-up questions to get to the bottom of what happened.

I find it interesting in today's day and age the way women and men treat each other. Seems like no one wants responsibility. Where are the good men that stay until the morning and call the next day? Where are the good women that can cook and keep a house? Does anyone know what do to after the hook up?

It seems to me like our culture and hip-hop songs glamorize the temporary pleasures of sex without mentioning anything about real life. How many TV shows actually depict a real marriage? Or what happens when you have unprotected sex? The dangers of hooking up all the time? 

The truth is, real life is boring. A good man that comes home every night, or a good woman that has a job and cooks for her man won't get any views. Murder, affairs, and 72-day marriages: these things are noteworthy.  Reminds me of the movie 'Chicago,' where murdering women would become celebrities but public interest would soon fade as new blood hit the streets. It was an interesting phenomenon. The movie showed parallels between murder and Hollywood and it accomplished that by showing interesting similarities.

But what I wanted to point to, really, is how upside down things have turned. Having sex is now the goal (for the man and sometimes the woman, it finalizes the conquest). So that which should be serious (giving your body, mind and soul over) is now taken as commonplace (like the guy that rushes the girl he just had sex with to go home giving her cab money). And the humane, simple, boring things like going grocery shopping, or walking down the street together or having lunch together those things, watch out. In this world, those are the serious things. 

If you want to check where you stand with a guy don't ask if you have had sex (thinking that means something). Ask yourself if he calls you. If he tells you about his day, if he wants to know about yours. Ask yourself if he has gone grocery shopping with you, or came with you to Ikea. In this hook-up-gone -wild world, those are the indicators of how serious the relationship is. 

If we are so scared of being together and only want to deal with each other to have sex, then what is the point? Are we then any different than animals, looking for the hunt so that we can satisfy our selfish carnal needs with no thought to the other person? (At least animals do it for the good of their species, survival by procreating. We just do it for fun since the invention of contraceptives.)

Objectifying the other sex (oh, what a big butt she has, and oh look how fine he is) makes us to stop looking at their humanity. A wise saying to men is  'treat your partner as you would like your little girl to be treated.' Hooking up, not being in a relationship, and going out at night hoping to 'get lucky,' (as the latest pop hit urges us to do)  I'm sure that's not what God had in plan when He created us. He said the husband to treat his wife as he loves himself, and the wife to be the helper. Let's go back to our original design, let's stop using each other for sex. Let's treat each other kind, with no games, no lies, just the truth. And if you are not sure of what you want, do the world a favor and leave the opposite sex alone until you do! Say with it me: RIP to hook ups, yes to relationships. And the world will never be the same.