Your name

 is still on my mind

to be honest, not so much 

but it's like my body remembers your touch

your caress and just the thought of you 

brings it all back 

and my body starts to tingle

and desire starts to rise

How to get rid of all this? 

Stop thinking of you in this way?

Maybe we can just stop, give time time

Stop with video calls and keep conversations short

I will tell you my decision and then we can go back to not talking again

What else is there to say? You were supposed to decide what you want 

I wasn't strong enough to stick to my guns but I know the answer

I know what we must do, what I must do

To go back to life, before I talked to you

and then it brought everything back and I am caught up in your web

and reminisce and the past and all of that

You can't go forward if you keep on looking back

I cant help anyone unless I am able to help myself

stimulus check, please come in soon please do

And Auris, get out of your comfort zone

take the days and take advantage of them.

Believe in yourself and where you are going

stop this loop of what could be, rise up by the horns and take over the bull

that is the wildness of your life. I saw my cousin yesterday and him and his wife

are both back in school. They lean on each other and help each other with everything.

I thank God, it's time to get it. I have no outside support like a person or help with my kid.

I have to make it work, make lemonade out of these lemons. Rise from the ashes,

change my life. Alone, with God, I stand. God please give me strength. God, please give me strength.