A thousand years

Why does this song bring me back

I remember the lonely nights

walking back to my apartment

I remember living in a city with no family

I had my friends

and I made my own community

I went to church, didn't connect with them

even though I appreciated that they all had a connection with Jesus

with me, not so much

Everyone had jobs and were not struggling

I was there, walking on faith,

left everything cause this one little voice said

You are going to live here and Rebecca and Mona confirmed the same

Once I moved in, actually right before the storms started

It was a walk of faith, I learned to keep speaking to what God said,

and not what it looked like

God, you showed me all that matters is faith

I invested it all, all I had. When I got there, no one would pick up the phone

I was homeless, thankfully my friend picked up and I slept there while I waited

Later on, I was to find out that that night my friend would get attacked so heavily

it was what was going on back then, it came back to bite me

The demons and the Satan and what the hell else? 

It was so weird she said nothing, then it happened at the house.

A year later, oh when you sleep here we get attacked.

Okay, so fight back. I already had experience with spiritual warfare.

Then I leave, it was best for everyone. Once again, not many prospects or resources.

I didn't have the faith to think I was going to be able to make it.

Everyday walking the streets wondering how it was going to work.

But it did! I got one apartment, then the next. I always had just enough to move in then

once I moved in, did not make enough money to keep the place.

I learned to negotiate, to live in instability. To keep holding on to God to help me

even though sometimes it felt like he didn't hear me.

Lord, why was it so hard? and what was the lesson I was supposed to learn?

When I got pregnant I felt like such a reject.  I moved on, did not look back

but talking to Angel and listening to this thousand words song, it takes me back

I believed everything you said God

I was convinced you told me to go 

and that knowledge is what kept me going

this whole time. Time passed, I learned to accept what happened.

The past is the past, what to do?

I was a single mother, I went on a spiritual journey and came back 

with evidence of my sin.

My search for love, looking for something to numb the loneliness.

My sleeplessness and insomnia coming back,

Angel left he didn't know what happened but he didn't want to be a part of all of that

Sometimes I get so mad at myself, wish I had no feelings.

I was so broken, and turned my back on you

It was the worst thing I could have ever done.

I paid the price of my life with it.

A thousand years, I was given a promise

I walked around New Brunswick wispering it, planning it, trying to see

believing it.

I am not going back to doubt. But Lord, it has been quite a journey