Walks in the Park

How can a Christian be sad? Salvation should bring us joy. Waking up in a good mood.  Colossians 2:1 -8 What is salvation to you? This, salvation, joy when we know Christ more.  In whom is hidden all the treasures, in Christ. I am with you in spirit. As you stand shoulder to shoulder and we stand in a front.  And to see the stability of your faith in Christ.  Pulling down of strongholds. depression, anxiety. verse 5, we are destroying sophisticated arguments in every exhaulted crowd thing.  It's not even your mom, your brother, your sister. It's fighting against God's truth.  Unwavering power, wisdom and  Walk in union with him. reflecting his character in the things you do and say. living life that leads others away from sin.  as we have received Christ.  COMPARISON: If we focus on what others are doing and not what we are doing, we miss it.  study them and say i'm gonna grow to that. don't condemn yourself. focus on your relationship w...

 But I wouldn't give her the “best friend who will be there when life falls apart” role simply because she held that role for ten years. And I think that's different from calling her a bad person or a bad friend. Sometimes a friendship is real, meaningful, and loving and still has limitations. The comment about your life may be one of those limitations: she may love you and want better for you, while also having a blind spot about what your life has actually required of you. You don't have to condemn her to take the blind spot seriously. And you don't have to forgive away the hurt to preserve the friendship. It may actually be a much more accurate definition of the relationship than the old “best friend who will always be there” definition. And honestly, I think your friend today may have given you language for something you've already known for a while: This woman may be a real friend to you, but she is not a dependable friend for hard seasons. Those aren'...

 Saturday Block Party  And then you were completely comfortable stepping away and letting their connection belong to them. You came back later, and there they were, still getting along. That's very "connector." And I think there's something beautiful about the fact that this is showing up now , alongside all this reflection about time, motherhood, friendship, and the life you've lived. Because maybe you're remembering that there are parts of you that have existed for a very long time that got buried under responsibility . The woman who notices people. The woman who approaches strangers. The woman who brings people together. The woman who has instincts about who will click. The woman who can walk into a room and participate rather than wait to be invited. And Saturday, you got to be her. Not just Mom . Not just the woman who has to figure out money . Not just the woman who has to survive the next problem. You. The connector. The woman who likes mu...

 did an errand, at night, last minute. I moved. God reminded of what he told me before, that's how riches are. the person that is willing to go that far.  I jumped, I went. It was uncomfortable, it was long. She blessed me with the shoes.  I cried. I couldn't believe it.  I think so much of Porfirio and Alaka when I'm here. Today, I was thinking of Porfirio maybe because I was in the Bronx. I wonder in an alternate universe if they go to NJ and think of me. But probably not.  Those places remind me of them because they were my connection to those spots. Just like Sam was my connection to Cali. 

Amazing Saturday. getting comfortable in an uncomfortable place, for sure.  When Steph leaves, who knows. okay I see. i'll leave too. I get it.  She was saying you waiting on me, I can step.  I can stop being in fear and I can start making moves. She said, you are getting out of that girl. (when I said idk what I'm going thru right now). and its true! i'm coming out of it! That spoke so much to me.  The family thing is such a burden for me. such a heaviness thing. Chris said i'm growing and he said all it takes is one change, for things to change.  to resist, to want love from such a broken place. to resist the urge. and how long I've held them up and want more from them. give in to the independence of America girl. and the freedom inside of you. 

 another dream today, step. well received. God is good.  say no more. I was gonna write about my misgivings. we all know i'm here going with the flow and not knowing how I can change this around. but like usual, you and me will figure this out.