Walks in the Park

 What do I feel? I am not sure. I cleaned, I should be happy. the bathroom is sparkling. really, I usually love after I do things.  it's almost like i'm mourning. Realizing that this is it. this is my new reality. I am a person with no family. I am not going to go.  they wont call. the holidays will be me and my son. why am I sad about that? isnt it how its been? I'm relying on them to be family.  it hasn't been family for a while huh. I wanted to create my own thing and I struggled. I have no vision right now of the future. I feel like I'm in a windowless room.  What's the next couple of years going to look like?  wake up Auris. not inspired right now. I cleaned. do the fridge, do your hair. go to your classes. when will it get better? what hope do I have? I have no idea.  I have no idea. when you are lost, go back to when I had it.  I had it when I was in MIami. I cried when I saw a palm tree. and the sun shining on the waves was always so amazi...

 Mama told me not to trust the guy that steals my heart now he walked out of my life, my world is falling apart he took me from another why did I fall this time? I had somebody who, I thought was already mine.  now I am left with no one  I guess all is fair when it comes to love and war playa be a playa  cheater be a cheat

 I miss miami I miss the heat oh how I desire to have my own place thoughts of future scare me I keep praying for a door to open you opened a door for me to be here. remeber that word? I stand in the hallway waiting for that door to open and you made a way for us to come here. why do I feel so alone? so lost? so directionless. feeling like I waste each day?  Son is sick I start crying. I was cleanig, the bathroom looks great.  bleach got out all the stains. 

Mother is getting free stuff/ attention She represents the confident part of yourself. In the dream she is confused why it was happening. You're like this. Example:

Driving in NJ Passing my aunt's Grace (5 kids) house I see through her front door, watching a  TV screen, a projector.  front door turned into a TV screen. she's taking pictures of herself. video of herself. posting it in Whatsapp status. she looked so different. modelesque.  long hands, long arms.  Jane 0 I don't remember her looking like this. she looked really good. Jane sees her as a trophy wife. someone that is valued for her looks.  a part of her started feeling insecure about herself.  Let me go, let me leave this area. son was in the back of the car. all of a sudden, shes outside coming to take her son. bring him in the house. she was happy to see him. The dream ended.

  Lady- Amaka  In the dream, A was traveling and she would be back at this certain day.  She is in a state of coming and going, she is not rooted in a place or career that she is going to do for the rest of her life. she is in a state of looking, of finding. She is scared to settle. SEARCHER. Jane would have the place to herself. In the dream, you both are sharing your room in your parent's house. No husband and child there.  FOUNDATIONAL- Jane is in the place before she had the life she has now. This is the place that lady is in now. She doesn't have everything that she is going to have. Its a time of uncertainty, sometimes  lot of concern and she needs to increase her faith and keep believing in what God has for her. JUST AS I HAVE OPENED DOORS FOR YOU, I WILL OPEN DOORS FOR HER. Sharing the room, she is going to travel. In the dream, Jane had a feeling that she will come back earlier. It ended up happening, she came up earlier.  This part is saying that ...