Walks in the Park

 We can stay right here, with Aaron, and with the memory of that day. Because I think there is something you are grieving that goes beyond the loss of contact with your friend. You found someone who showed you that being vulnerable didn't have to end in shame. Someone who could sit with you in a difficult moment and help you return to the world when you were ready. And now you can't call him. You can't tell him you remember that day. You can't ask how he's doing. You can't tell him what his friendship meant to you. That is a tender thing to carry. You can be grateful for the grace he showed you and still grieve that you don't know where he is. Those feelings belong together. The layers of my grief over Aaron 1. I miss my friend. At the heart of everything, I miss Aaron. I miss my bestie. I miss our laughter, our conversations, the beach trips, the restaurants, and going to church together. We spent time together and shared our lives. We did things that I don...

 LORD JESUS, Thank you that that's not me any more Thank you that that person has been crucified. My thoughts are your thoughts. (When those thoughts come, pray like that, connect with your new identity). Amen

How can a Christian be sad? Salvation should bring us joy. Waking up in a good mood.  Colossians 2:1 -8 What is salvation to you? This, salvation, joy when we know Christ more.  In whom is hidden all the treasures, in Christ. I am with you in spirit. As you stand shoulder to shoulder and we stand in a front.  And to see the stability of your faith in Christ.  Pulling down of strongholds. depression, anxiety. verse 5, we are destroying sophisticated arguments in every exhaulted crowd thing.  It's not even your mom, your brother, your sister. It's fighting against God's truth.  Unwavering power, wisdom and  Walk in union with him. reflecting his character in the things you do and say. living life that leads others away from sin.  as we have received Christ.  COMPARISON: If we focus on what others are doing and not what we are doing, we miss it.  study them and say i'm gonna grow to that. don't condemn yourself. focus on your relationship w...

 But I wouldn't give her the “best friend who will be there when life falls apart” role simply because she held that role for ten years. And I think that's different from calling her a bad person or a bad friend. Sometimes a friendship is real, meaningful, and loving and still has limitations. The comment about your life may be one of those limitations: she may love you and want better for you, while also having a blind spot about what your life has actually required of you. You don't have to condemn her to take the blind spot seriously. And you don't have to forgive away the hurt to preserve the friendship. It may actually be a much more accurate definition of the relationship than the old “best friend who will always be there” definition. And honestly, I think your friend today may have given you language for something you've already known for a while: This woman may be a real friend to you, but she is not a dependable friend for hard seasons. Those aren'...

 Saturday Block Party  And then you were completely comfortable stepping away and letting their connection belong to them. You came back later, and there they were, still getting along. That's very "connector." And I think there's something beautiful about the fact that this is showing up now , alongside all this reflection about time, motherhood, friendship, and the life you've lived. Because maybe you're remembering that there are parts of you that have existed for a very long time that got buried under responsibility . The woman who notices people. The woman who approaches strangers. The woman who brings people together. The woman who has instincts about who will click. The woman who can walk into a room and participate rather than wait to be invited. And Saturday, you got to be her. Not just Mom . Not just the woman who has to figure out money . Not just the woman who has to survive the next problem. You. The connector. The woman who likes mu...

 did an errand, at night, last minute. I moved. God reminded of what he told me before, that's how riches are. the person that is willing to go that far.  I jumped, I went. It was uncomfortable, it was long. She blessed me with the shoes.  I cried. I couldn't believe it.  I think so much of Porfirio and Alaka when I'm here. Today, I was thinking of Porfirio maybe because I was in the Bronx. I wonder in an alternate universe if they go to NJ and think of me. But probably not.  Those places remind me of them because they were my connection to those spots. Just like Sam was my connection to Cali.