Posts

Jackie- la republica

 I usually hit my numbers before lunch. then the rest of the day is mine.  Already at home, don't have to drive back to see your family.  On the first, I get paid whether the last month was good or bad month. what it can look like: 1k, 2k, 4k. on the 1st and 15th of the month.  Shariff- dada was in RE.  when was selling in real estate, moved out at 20 years old. he had 3am overnight shift at warehouse. 3am to 8am. then try and sell real estate. running on very low sleep.  he realized he wasn't going to close his way out of this. you can only do so much work. only so much time in the day. only so much energy you have in the day.  STRUCTURE that he had. making shift into an industry where the same skill got paid completely differently. some type of base salary, if he didn't make the sale he could still get paid. then he found remote tech sales. he had a in office sales job. he didn't know how it worked. sent 300 applications. spent 6 months before one of...
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god

What should I be doing right now with my life?  I don't feel lost I just feel like I should have it together and I do not.
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Tia

 1. Lights about to be cut out 2. Erica- Ciara is going to have another baby. 3. Long story about sitting 2 dogs next door (conclusion?) Bri's it's an ongoing situation. 4. Story about the rocking chair being put away from the porch. IT''S TOO MUCH!!!!!! ././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././ >?>?>?>?>?>?>?>?>?>?>?>?>?>?>?>?>?>?>?>?>?>?>?>?>?>?
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Identity- new story

You don't have to arrive at some future version of yourself before you're worthy of love. You're already His. And I would change the story you're telling yourself. Instead of: “I'm the person who isn't loved or supported.” Try: “I'm a loved woman who is learning to stop looking for validation in places that have repeatedly failed to give it.” That's a completely different identity. You're not the abandoned one. You're the woman building a life. You're not the family disappointment. You're the woman still moving forward despite disappointment. You're not the woman nobody sees. You're the woman learning to see herself clearly. You're not powerless because you can't change your family. You're powerful because you can decide what their behavior means about them without allowing it to determine what it means about you. And maybe the goal isn't to get to a place where family stuff never bothers you. ...
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Jane's dream

1) Outside an apartment. Lady is related to Jane's husband, married and has a kid. The husband would always drive their car, park their car. He is white.  Never knew he was the lady's husband. driving a nice car, sports car.  dark blue.  (parking lot of apartment building) One time, sees them all together, lady guy and their kid. they say hi to you. She says hi. Jane's husband saw her too. Later on, husband calls and says lady made goosie (traditional soup). normal dish, make it in bulk.  Jane got upset. I just saw her, I just said hi, why didn't she tell me to come over? why didn't she call you? Jane's mom calls her and says "Oh this lady told me she made goosies maybe you guys should get some." Jane says why she is telling everyone but me?  ***Jane feeling excluded** 2) Amaka, this time Jane goes into her apartment and she's there. there's all these people in her apartment. she's helping them get ready for a wedding. she was doing her mak...
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Today

 What do I feel? I am not sure. I cleaned, I should be happy. the bathroom is sparkling. really, I usually love after I do things.  it's almost like i'm mourning. Realizing that this is it. this is my new reality. I am a person with no family. I am not going to go.  they wont call. the holidays will be me and my son. why am I sad about that? isnt it how its been? I'm relying on them to be family.  it hasn't been family for a while huh. I wanted to create my own thing and I struggled. I have no vision right now of the future. I feel like I'm in a windowless room.  What's the next couple of years going to look like?  wake up Auris. not inspired right now. I cleaned. do the fridge, do your hair. go to your classes. when will it get better? what hope do I have? I have no idea.  I have no idea. when you are lost, go back to when I had it.  I had it when I was in MIami. I cried when I saw a palm tree. and the sun shining on the waves was always so amazi...
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Song

 Mama told me not to trust the guy that steals my heart now he walked out of my life, my world is falling apart he took me from another why did I fall this time? I had somebody who, I thought was already mine.  now I am left with no one  I guess all is fair when it comes to love and war playa be a playa  cheater be a cheat
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