thoughts?

 

1. Separate significance from being witnessed

Right now, your sense of meaning is tightly tied to whether others are using your gifts. That makes sense—you’re relational. But it also puts your worth at the mercy of availability, seasons, and other people’s blindness.

A reframing (not a fix, just a loosening):

My gifts don’t stop existing when no one is around to receive them.

In lonely seasons, significance often has to become quieter and more internal before it can be shared again. That’s uncomfortable—but it’s not failure.

You might ask yourself:

• If no one applauded this, would I still do it once a week?
  That points to gifts that are still alive, even dormant.

What’s actually happening in the present

Right now:

• you feel insignificant

• your gifts feel unused

• there’s no real community

• and your body/mind remembers: “This is what it feels like when I don’t belong anywhere.”

That doesn’t mean the past is controlling you.
It means your system learned something true:

Community is how significance becomes felt for you.

Some people feel significant through achievement.
Some through autonomy.
Some through impact at scale.

You feel it through relational embeddedness — being woven into something living.

When that’s gone, your significance doesn’t disappear, but it becomes unfelt.

A crucial reframe (this is the heart of it)

The problem isn’t “I am insignificant.”
The problem is “There is no container right now that reflects my significance back to me.”

That’s very different — and much more solvable.

Think of it like this:
Your gifts are relational by nature. They don’t activate in isolation. So of course, without community, they feel dormant. Seeds in a drawer aren’t dead — they’re just not planted.

What won’t help (given who you are)

• Telling yourself to “just be okay alone”

• Forcing meaning through productivity

• Joining spaces that require you to perform or flatten yourself

• Accepting shallow connection to avoid loneliness

You already know those don’t work. You’ve lived that.

3. Name this season accurately

Try this sentence (even privately):

“This is a season without community, not a verdict on my worth.”

That naming matters. It keeps the feeling from becoming identity.

5. This is the most important line I’ll say to you

Your significance doesn’t come from being seen after you offer your voice.

It comes from offering your voice at all — because that is how people eventually find you.

Community found you through poetry before.
It didn’t start as “friend-making.” It started as showing up with truth.

That path still works.

Here’s the reframe that might shift something

What if the theme of your life is not “I don’t fit” —
but rather:

“I kept bringing a real human need into systems that only knew how to reward performance.”

Church culture, communal houses, even families sometimes say “belonging,” but actually mean:

• emotional self-sufficiency

• social ease

• not disrupting the vibe

You disrupted nothing.
You just needed something real.