Walks in the Park

1) Outside an apartment. Lady is related to Jane's husband, married and has a kid. The husband would always drive their car, park their car. He is white.  Never knew he was the lady's husband. driving a nice car, sports car.  dark blue.  (parking lot of apartment building) One time, sees them all together, lady guy and their kid. they say hi to you. She says hi. Jane's husband saw her too. Later on, husband calls and says lady made goosie (traditional soup). normal dish, make it in bulk.  Jane got upset. I just saw her, I just said hi, why didn't she tell me to come over? why didn't she call you? Jane's mom calls her and says "Oh this lady told me she made goosies maybe you guys should get some." Jane says why she is telling everyone but me?  ***Jane feeling excluded** 2) Amaka, this time Jane goes into her apartment and she's there. there's all these people in her apartment. she's helping them get ready for a wedding. she was doing her mak...

 What do I feel? I am not sure. I cleaned, I should be happy. the bathroom is sparkling. really, I usually love after I do things.  it's almost like i'm mourning. Realizing that this is it. this is my new reality. I am a person with no family. I am not going to go.  they wont call. the holidays will be me and my son. why am I sad about that? isnt it how its been? I'm relying on them to be family.  it hasn't been family for a while huh. I wanted to create my own thing and I struggled. I have no vision right now of the future. I feel like I'm in a windowless room.  What's the next couple of years going to look like?  wake up Auris. not inspired right now. I cleaned. do the fridge, do your hair. go to your classes. when will it get better? what hope do I have? I have no idea.  I have no idea. when you are lost, go back to when I had it.  I had it when I was in MIami. I cried when I saw a palm tree. and the sun shining on the waves was always so amazi...

 Mama told me not to trust the guy that steals my heart now he walked out of my life, my world is falling apart he took me from another why did I fall this time? I had somebody who, I thought was already mine.  now I am left with no one  I guess all is fair when it comes to love and war playa be a playa  cheater be a cheat

 I miss miami I miss the heat oh how I desire to have my own place thoughts of future scare me I keep praying for a door to open you opened a door for me to be here. remeber that word? I stand in the hallway waiting for that door to open and you made a way for us to come here. why do I feel so alone? so lost? so directionless. feeling like I waste each day?  Son is sick I start crying. I was cleanig, the bathroom looks great.  bleach got out all the stains.