I think of Abraham

 and how he said the girl he was with

was so committed, he had to move

she said she didnt mind

she would do the drive

he said no

he had more exploring to do

what was Andre's excuse for all the bullshit he put me through?

he said he knew i was the type that wanted to settle down and he didnt like that

so why? keep it going? i guess i wanted him to agree

he kept chasing me, eventually, I would agree.

call at all times and never listened to anything I said

he would call and just talk and talk and talk and rob me of my sleep I so needed

and i was mad at my mom mention it, i wonder if it didn't help her sleep

i remember coming back home and my sis and my mother had a man

i'm like wow this is hard. everyone has someone except me.

its easier to do your choices when you are alone.

does anyone respect me? does it matter? kind of, social cues, social appreciation

we all search for it, there is no price to it really

am I okay? God, am I okay? 

Feeling deficient. and want to go back, go in, let it go like the guy says, release

I got books to write

and poems to publish of my silly hopeless romantic ways

ha ha the romance I always wanted, to get flowers

God said I will give you a tree, he is my lover

he is my gift