Guess who?

This time of the year is feeling lonely. I cut off my hair and joined a gym. Am tired from lack of sleep. This is the new scandal: Manuel is not the father. Say What??? So I stayed up last night and we talked about it. He took it well (just like the first time) but he keeps the door open, then one that I have closed. Waiting patiently for my husband. I'm already 29. God take your time don't want to rush like before. Just want to sleep and feel more than lonely when I walk the streets. Baby crying in my ear, I'm tired. Applying for jobs and going outside in the coldest winter ever, with a baby and a stroller and getting yelled at by my mother who wants me to keep the baby (and therefore myself) inside all the time. But all the things I want are outside my comfort zone so go figure. Life, what do you have? Love, when will you come? I've stopped idolizing you and am settling for this feeling when I'm alone walking the streets. Baby is so sweet but I just want to sleep.