I told

 Jane, Rene, tried to tell Jonathan

and Marvin

so many years in the making, to hear this story

Is this the way it goes? Is this the way it ends?

You have all these objections

Now it appears you not too excited to hear about another test

You said yes

Did you mean it? I have to come out of pocket and plan a trip

I have 2 sources of income but one is about to dry up

My friend Stan is telling me, let it go

Let it flow, leave him out, life is better just the way you have been living

Your garden is over here, thriving 

he over there not happy, trying to come on what you have going on

and I was so vulnerable I was willing to make it happen

bring someone into our lives

But you took a trip and what changed? Get back on the phone, be so available

But something has changed, said you had no time to think about it 

as if time was not everything you had

I took it as it was not important

and little do you know what has been going on over here

This thing here is so important to me

I wonder if your gonna send your dog to your appointment

hahaha that was a joke

why you so mad? you wanted a second try, was that all a bad lie?

well, we gonna get to the truth

I told you I'd hit you up with the info. Why I have a feeling you are not trying to do this?

Let it all go, you ask about my research over next dude

You want to push it on someone else.  Fuck you

You want to fuck, you don't want responsibility

take off condoms, act like they don't come off easily

You said I don't give you enough credit, you are not listening to me

just take the L, you don't know my side, you have no idea and you saying you do

Doesn't make it any more different.

You mad, you pushed back. You stop getting whatever it was you were getting from me

Now you leave, so easily. Its weird how the past repeats itself.

It was never meant to be. Not my soul mate, not nothing. Just a promise, something 

attainable at the time, we connected and were drawn to each other like a moth to a flame.

I was taken over, not knowing how to get out of the fire

Consumed by it, couldn't think clearly.  All I needed as time to myself

In a couple of days, I lost everything including my network. 

God built it back up, led me to the right people. Made me feel less alone in the world. 

I wonder if that will ever happen again, I remember the time in Atlanta.

They all thought I was crazy for leading them to a party and made me responsible for all of it.

I didn't know there was going to be weed. I just heard art and poetry, but you know,

they usually go together. Anyhow, let me get out of here.

Lord, am I a writer? How will I come unto my success? How to put a product out? 

What will be the thing that breaks the curse, that sets me free?

Abundance is already yours, Auris, take your time to receive it.

But I need something, something in the hand. a rock,  a stone, I am tired of feeling like this.

Its like contagious like a plague. I appreciate at church they don't treat me like a runaway, 

I get treated like a person.