Mentor

I will tell you the story  of my first and last mentor. It was while I was working at Bank of America. He was in a business conference that the bank had and we were allowed to get off the phones and go listen to people in other aspects of the business. It was supposed to inspire us and learn how to reach other positions within the bank. 

So there I am, hearing him speak. He was bold, be spoke out against a recruiter that was in the room and called him out for not helping him get the job. He worked in the revered NY office, by Donald Trump's famous NY building. 

and he worked in the NY office

We emailed back and forth. I contacted him, I told him my intentions and I would like if he was my mentor. He agreed. 

We were both at Bank of America employee and we had a chat that you could send a message to anyone in the company. as you were working, you could send messages to anyone, even the CEO (if you are that bold). 

And I connected him with a young girl at my church that had an MBA but was struggling to get a job

After sometime he asked me to go meet him in NY

I went and I just felt like it was a date

I was excited, I looked nice

Commuted right after work in Newark NJ, 1 hour commute to the city. 

And then what transpired was the best date of my life. super romantic, super spontaneous, we almost got arrested by the police. he talked himself out of it by going into his accent and pretending he was fresh off the boat and I was just showing him around. 

He kept saying things like he was ready to commit then at the end he kissed me and I said, this date is too perfect something has to be wrong. you must be married or dating someone or something and he said .

well....

Then turns out he had a kid and a girl that he lived with and I was a night of fun I guess. all the words of it should he used where just words. 

So of course, it was tempting but no, I said no to be his intermediary girl while he moved out and broke up with the girl. he was engaged to be married and he said he didn't like her. I told him if he doesn't want to be with her, then stop being with her. I'm not going to be there while he's in a relationship with someone else. he swore it wasn't like that. I'm like what is it like? you have a kid together and live together. 

If you are going to be a mentor, don't waste people's time. also I didn't know that people are still people and sometimes we want success and we ask someone for help. But we don't need their help. we need to decrease our belief in others and increase the belief in ourselves.  We are enough. You already have everything you need.

Yes, people are further ahead. Hey, there are people that are behind where you are too. Sometimes we don't need a mentor. We just need to rise up and become our own hero.