Big things that happened

Grateful for:

Pat Paige went to toastmasters meeting and joined! (lot of following up, and telling him about it and sending him voice messages)

I did Toastmaster of the day 

Alex hit his speech therapy goals. (weekly, twice a week zoom appointments)

I haven't missed one Toastmasters meeting. Not even this one, where I might have had corona. I pushed through and just did it. 

Money:

Invested in a real estate cohort for 2k which is amazing. personal coaching, like hand holding the type that I need. the Neo Davis coaching is more like get some emails and join a Facebook group. what is the point of that? 

I have an accountant, Steve. We haven't talk lately due to Jane's visit and he was not present for our 6am meeting. then why did he set it at that time if it didn't work for him? come on.

In the Kevin Hart documentary, he would wake up early and work out. His world was falling apart, how is working out important? I don't get it. 

Need to work on: all the activities cost me money

Speech therapy none because government pays for Alex's insurance. 

Toastmasters I pay a minimal fee.

30 for credit monitoring.

100, well 97 for click funnels? I haven't used it.

The courses I haven't made time for them. or to write. most of my time I spend cleaning and maintaining my house and spend at least 4 hours a day watching shows. and sundown Friday to sundown Saturday in sabbath which I still don't know how to keep. But I ignore god and he ignores me? No more like we don't talk that much but I know he's there and he knows I'm here. idk. I'm broken.

No I am not. this guy online said I am not broken. no one is broken. okay, sure. so what are we?

joseph said I am not sensitive. my word for how I feel so much. but God did heal me from my numbness. I think me and Jane and both starting to find our voice and as her voice gets stronger I have to take a step back. but I'm not in a listening place. I did that for years. its my time to talk. its my time to go up to the mic. What will I say?

Write, Auris, write. Write it all out. I did put that idea in your mind. Mental Health: the testimony of Auris Arias. that was the working title I found. and I looked for the play of course, didn't find it. it must be in there somewhere. okay its been 2 years. I still carry around the papers. its just that instead of boxes, its in neat little gray bins from Walmart. 

Get published, get organized, put them into books. time if infinite. money has always been the obstacle. get the money so that i can sit back and write without a worry in the world. Hemmingway had it right. He married rich, wrote from the time he woke up to noon. came downstairs, played in the pool with his sons. took excursions, 4 moths of travel at a time to Africa and different locations. it was like, the perfect life. and still got to be Hemmingway, a most respected writer still spoken for until this day.

I love Woody Allen movies. Midnight in Paris and Cafe Society. there is a such a genuine to the stories. in Cafe society, there is such a kindness in the human beings in that movie. the way they adored and respected each other. the disdain for California, and the love for New York really shines through. the Jewish religion. the guy's rant about the silence that God gives us. I mean, it's just so true.