Relationships

 I saw I had a part in even the most painful relationship I had been in.

When I stopped complaining about the behaviors of others, I began to see them as mirrors of who I was. And the truth was that whenever I no longer needed a particular relationship, I got out. I wasn't a prisoner. 

My relationships reflected my unresolved issues and my fears. My relationships reflected my beliefs about what I deserved from love, what I was willing to tolerate.

Those who I had bellowed about because 'they were too dependent on me' were the same ones I found myself overly dependent on. 

When I looked at those who outraged me because they were trying to control me.. I saw a like response to them on my part- an unwillingness to accept them as they were and let them be. 

I saw that I had needed and attracted all the relationships in my life for one or another purpose of growth. If I didn't learn the lesson, if I didn't face and deal with what was inside me, I found myself in a similar circumstance, repeating. 

When I became willing to face my part, own my part, admit to my part, and make amends for my part, I had won half the battle. Maybe the victory was already mine. 

Some say that the past cannot be changed. This step proves differently. This step can transform our pasts into a necessary, acceptable, and non regrettable part of our lives. 

We can love, forgive, and be forgiven, and accept all that has happened.