50 an hour

 How come everytime I make a decision I get an offer?


$50 an hour, but being an employee and probably 40 hour time commitment.


I won't be able to take Alex to his speech therapy appointments, gone. 


Won't get further in my goal of creating a home based business. Will I?


I was going to do life insurance for the money. How much to earn in life insurance? 10k and deal with people and do a presentation and it's 1099 so do it on my own time. 


The fact taht I'm even considering it means I'm not fully committed to what I said.


What kind of parent do I want to be? and is taking this contract pull me further away from my goal.


In NYC, I was always searching where I was highest paid but I missed the carrot. I wasn't building longevity, and no one told me. I had to save myself. 


What am I building to last? Even life insurance I feel like its another hack. Am I really committed? And what am I committed to? 


That's the question.



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Compromising

Image
Who am I? Who are you? Are you pretending, just like I am too? Then there is a pair of us, don't tell!!! Then they will know, then they will see... Just like Adam saw Eve and they hid because they saw that they were naked and were ashamed.   So why are we ashamed? To be who we are? Why do we settle? To please others at the compromise of ourselves. Why, oh why, does this tale go this way? Like Don Quijote, I've been searching for  adventures,  but no worries hasn't taken me 700  pages to get to it.  I am still walking through this  life and today I   made a choice:  I will not  compromise, just like my  roomate Faith would  say  'Never settle for  less.'  Because when you settle  oh boy, t he good  thing you were waiting for, now  you won't get it.   But when you refuse to settle  you  are walking  along this road  and then one day  ...
Read more

Hooking Up

When I was in college, there was something called 'hooking up.'  I'm not sure if people still use the term now, but back then it was an inconspicuous term. It could mean anything. When you asked your roommate, 'so what happened between you and the guy last night?'  And she would reply 'We hooked up.' It could mean anything from first base all the way up to home run.  It could mean a kiss, it could mean that they did it raw. Who knows?  You would have to ask a series of  follow-up questions to get to the bottom of what happened. I find it interesting in today's day and age the way women and men treat each other. Seems like no one wants responsibility. Where are the good men that stay until the morning and call the next day?  Where are the good women that can cook and keep a house? Does anyone know what do to after the hook up? It seems to me like our culture and hip-hop songs glamorize the temporary pleasures of sex without menti...
Read more

New Girl

Image
I remember watching this show, and then reading a commentary.  The commentary said, seriously never move in with guys on an  apartment ad you found on craigslist.  How insane is that?  I thought. I would never do that! Then I got lawyered (How I Met  Your Mother reference). The situation of me having to get out of  the house by the 1st has me on a scavenger hunt for an apartment  in New Brunswick. Right now what's available (and that I can  afford)  is the place I saw yesterday with 2 guys (how desperate  am I that I  answered the ad?)  Location wise, it's cool. A  walk from Easton Ave and the train station but far enough that it's  still boom-docky).  It's like suburban except it's 15 minutes away  from the city, not half an hour.  So yeah $450 rent, utilities average  $15 to $20 a month. Doable for ...
Read more