Biggest guilt

Single mom, New Brunswick, being broke, but mostly being broke single mom at this moment.

How does it feel? I hate the glances, people knowing I am not doing good. The look Tia gave me and my cousin and pastor sometimes, that talk of pity. Having all my clothes be from thrift store. 

154, Codependent's guide to the twelve steps.

"We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. 

The feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.  

Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. 

pg. 153

I had another place to journey...that place was a place of compassion for myself, a place where I was able and willing to notice the wrongs and harms I had done to me. These are still harder to see and care about than the wrongs I have done to others. 

When guilt hits, when shame hits, when an old belief or an old behavior we visited on ourselves arises, we now know we have a choice. 

We can repress or deny...we can become defensive, we can run, we can hide. or we can embrace this formula of looking within, identifying our part, talking to another person and God about the incident, admitting it to ourselves, becoming willing to make an amend, then actively making that amend.

Then, we can let it go. We can let go of the largest and smallest guilts we have. We can forgive ourselves and we can forgive others. 

LOVING AND FORGIVING OURSELVES.

- It gives us permission to forgive ourselves and feel good about being who we are- based on self-responsibility. 

clear process for freeing ourselves from guilt and shame, for forgiving ourselves, and for correcting those behaviors that need correcting. ( I have done this, I corrected the behaviors)

We no longer have to punish ourselves. We no longer have to feel terrified or ashamed about our behavior-whether it is a minute slip or a major indiscretion. 

The more open I am to to taking responsibility for my behavior and making amends, the less guilt I feel. 

We will receive the grace we need to live comfortably with ourselves, others and our pasts.