Everything that shows up

 in the physical, first shows up in the spiritual

Everything that shows up in the physical first shows up in your mouth

It first shows up in your mouth. -David Immonitie sermon

That reminds me

1. When I got fired from BOA, I thought God please get me out of here

I felt sick and my soul felt like I couldn't do it anymore. I had, what another hour left in the shift?

I needed to get out of there. I felt horrible, like my soul couldn't take anymore

and boom! I got called into a meeting in which they let me go.

I walked out and boom, just like that 2 years of my life, gone.

I did not have to return tomorrow. My life was finally back in my hands. Then came North Brunswick, then New Brunswick then everything that led to now. 

2. Another one was the last job, the bank customer service job. I was like this is too easy. This is like me going backwards. I first confessed it in my mind, the idea that I did not belong there before it happened. I should have waited until they fired me, for real. Oh well, impulsive Auris. It is what it is.

3. The job in that Korean bank. I was like this is not made for me. I was too great, too much. They wanted me to hide, to not speak, to sit in a cubicle, to be average. To look at a screen all day. That was crazy! I thought I have too many gifts for this. I am supposed to be around people. I am supposed to speak. Maybe that's why you wanted me to be a teacher? That was the only job I felt like I was using all my gifts. But it was interesting. It forced me to use my voice. I wasn't used to that, using my voice. My life I was all alone. The girls, they sympathized with me. They heard me. I was able to give back and connect with the kids and I loved it. 

4. anything else? my first job, no. that one I really wanted and liked. I felt so powerful, the rug taken up from under me.

5. Entrepreneur? just controlling my brand my money what I do. No need to wait for bathroom breaks. especially when I had my child and I had to pull him out of daycare. That was so sad. I'm like I'm not standing in a solid foundation. It's too shaky. That's when I knew I would have to leave the AML space. 

6. In the networking event, I met movers and shakers. How do they get those jobs? How do they keep it? BOA was like a basement of talent and everyone was trying to get ahead. 

Anyways, maybe my story have been like this so that I know that a job is not stable and its not the way to go for me. But it was still all I knew so I kept going back to it. Cause it was like, what is the other option? Didn't know what business to start. only was exposed to network marketing. Lord, i thought about this stuff all the time. If an opportunity had arised I would taken advantage of it.