I think

Ao much time has gone by

enough, no

enough is enough

for this chapter in my story

I want to get to the wins

I want to take a step that will take me out of this

I got a job last year, I got two then 3. It always was just enough,

I was never in abundance.

Abundance is yours Auris, it will take time.

What am I missing? What am I doing? Time is passing. Le the sun shine, let it breathe in.

I want more, a car, a way to get around not just walk everywhere and I know I have everything I want. 

And then why do I want more? I don't know. Or is it me that's the problem? Is it that I don't know how to be happy or is it that I am looking for other people's approval?

I don't know all I know is, I see the signs in the stories I hear and I am tired of my story. 

I want to create a way to frame it to make it empowering. She said you have a message. It's just my reality. 

Sabbath is a day to rest. I took a walk, I went somewhere, Alex got to play. Now back home, I took a shower and tried not calling my friend, but of course I did. What to do next?

Auris, the busybody you know how you created me. A brain with a lot of thoughts a minute. An emotional compass that feels so much. A mind that is creative, a look that is attractive but I hate it because what is the point of beauty if you are just surviving, not getting by, just getting enough?

Abundance is mine, abundance if mine. I know money doesn't solve things. But I was to accomplish the things I set for myself. Sabbath, oh Sabbath, day of rest.

Wait until sun goes down then you can go back to the grind. You are supposed to let peace overcome you but in all my moments I stress myself out about the place I currently am. That is why I hate being alone in moments with my thoughts. It goes to the past, then into story, and then into the future. 

Stay in the present. I get it. I got the sunshine and grass and I walked and we saw. But it all feel so familiar. Another year, another place I am broke and walking around to pass time. I want a different story. I want a different ending. Por favor.

Thoughts, thoughts are things. Focus on what you want. Then what? The world will give you opportunities on how to get it? Maybe. Maybe that's it. But why is my journey taking so long? Why do jobs and relationships work out for others. Why do people have it way figured out by now, done the things I want to do. Got them all now. I look back and it's always been a struggle. What have I learned? To hold on to you through the lessons and sometimes I turn it on myself. Start hating myself because there is no one else to blame. 

Okay and I stop. bye. You see? these thoughts tour sour. It's best sometimes not to go into the walkways into my brain.