Divine Queen LIVE 10/6/20

First thing when you wake up, you scroll through your phone. Instead of gong and kissing your child, speaking good report over them.  We pay more attention 

More than a provider, nurturing, she protects her child. She is not going to stay in a toxic relationship with any person (mom, dad, partner) and risk the consciousness of that child. she is not going to allow a relationship to get in between the relationship with that child. 

That child is their personal responsibility. That child did not ask to be brought on to this world. 

A good man provides. Its more than financial. Its about providing a listening ear. Listen to understand and respond. A good man is able to admit when he's wrong. And a good woman as well. It doesn't go just one way. A good man puts himself first is his family first. A lot of time, a man, unknowingly to us woman they feel unappreciated. They are not loving on themselves and they expect you to fill a void that only they can fill for themselves. 

If you truly want to love a person, love yourself. Now you are not going to go outside and utilize your energy. You pour it on the inside and let them be inspired by how you love yourself. Take the horse to the water, and then let them drink it. 

You trying to fix a hole that you can't fix. Have I ever met a healed person? It's hard to become something you have never seen. A person that is not suffering from childhood trauma. When most people today are. 

We must be careful on what we consider a good man, or a good woman, or great man or woman. Being great or good is not just a part of it. You look beautiful on the outside.

You keep house clean but mind is cluttered. You bring food to the table but you deprive your soul. And that's not good. 

Am I a good mother? Ask yourself. Not based on bills that you pay. Not based on food that you cook. The nurturing you do to their mind. 20 years from now will they say thank you. Or I need to talk to you about what is on my heart and on my mind cause I'm hurt. Change it. Don't beat yourself up. Don't think about or dwell on everything you could have done better. Come up with solutions on what you could have done better moving forward. 

Mothers, be honest when you need help. Your children will follow you to the ends of the earth. Speak out on what you need. I need more assistance in this house. I need you guys to give me mommy time. If no one can do that for you, set a schedule for yourself and give it to yourself. Not fair to go through life with others and bleed out their innocence. We are more patient with strangers and dump our frustrations out on our children? We just gotta do better. 

We gotta be careful on how we speak to our babies. Never speak to them down like you are dumb, etc. I can only imagine how you talk to yourself when you are done. When they cry out, they want that attention.  They only get attention unless they get into trouble. That's not right. 

This momma here. I gotta do a mental assessment. I have goal, personal goals, business goals. goals for my children. What is it that I need to do so my babies don't fall in the cracks while I handle these roles and responsibilities? What if you give them material stuff but lose the connection with them? Lose that understanding? It's not worth it. 

I don't want to have that talk with my child about things I could have done. What is it that I need to make sure babies don't fall in between the cracks?

The mother of the house is the tedious job. Cook, clean, house is clean. Business you are handling or career is getting tend to. If relationship you gotta tend to that person. Before they became a wife. Grandmother, etc. We wear so many hats. We strecth ourselves out so thin.

This mama right here, guess what she needed? I got me a whole nanny. I said you know what, I make sure she gets homeschooled and smoothies get made. 60 percent right now to business. I get someone dedicate their time to my baby. I know everyone's situation is different. Figure out resources you did have. 

I had a place I had to go. People would just have fun, I would take my laptop and books. I was studying. I don't leave my children with people I don't know. Before I was able to afford a nanny. But there are steps. 

A mother is best responsibility. We nurture everything around us just by our conversation. Just by people being able to look at us. That is if we are right within ourselves. 

You cannot allow other individuals to raise your child. You raise your child. You gotta figure out your child. Step your game out as a parent. Just deal with them on the weekend. You have to be with your babies. Why? because you became so disconnected. You don't know how to minister to that child because you don't know how to minister to yourself. 

I dont like that,  Better to have the child workout. Than lash out your frustrations out on the child from you rday. We must get into the minds of our children. We don't have a mental connection with our children. We don't even know how to teach them.

Threaten them, then they get flight or fight. Then their intellect shut off. Now they suffer from detention. Understand that your role as a parent to yourself is so important. Imagine your baby saying mama, thank you for being understanding.  A mom that took the time to hear me. Even if you never agreed. Thank you for loving me for my flaws. 

They took a liking to wiping their children and calling the family to say that. Toxic habit. Moving forward, our children are not our slaves or our possession. they need love and they need patience. We have to heal. Sometimes its an anger inside of us. Because we didn't get the same patience and love. When we see our child act out, we resort to how our momma would have handled it. You are trying to heal how your mama handled it. 

You made it about your at that moment. Why is my child acting like this? Are they crying out for attention? They will eat out your house. Hey baby, this is time you have a snack, this is time for dinner. they are just bored! make it a fun activity. Getting frustrated to how they act and not putting a structure.

They watching TV all day, you don't like it but you don't do anything about it. Children have peace of mind having a structure. Its scientifically proven. They feel more secure so less erratic and compulsive. They have a flow. 

We don't have a flow. It's hard to give something to other people that we don't have. 

Structure: wake up at the same time, and go to bed at the same time.

Don't bombard yourself with so many things. Warm your mind up to the idea of structure. You think I'm about to do what, at what time? Watch!  We come from very strict household that we subconsciously we hate discipline. Any form of structure we are not the free person that we truly are. 

Parent yourself so that you can parent those babies. They deserve the best you. Those babies deserve the best you. I need to get a book. Structure.

Not the you that is stressed out, doesn't know how to deal with their emotions. The you that is free form hurt. The you that is truly loving and a listener. The you that is wise. 

Stop allowing your children to dictate your day. They go to bed after you. They wake you up, momma when is breakfast? No! Extra 30 minutes, that extra hour for yourself. It matters. Matter I love you, Mommies unite. A lot of us are dealing with children that are broken household. They already missing daddy. We take it personal, don't even want to hear them talk about their fathers. So who they talking about it to? You and that father have so much of a discord you don't allow them to discuss about their fathers. Your child jus wants to talk to you. You don't want to deal with your emotions. 

Sit down with your child and say how was your day? What is on your mind today? Be honest. Make it a routine. Make it a habit. We don't know how to heal, or how to become better is because we didn't see a lot of that growing up. 

My mom was in poverty. I never saw her come out of that. Be proud of that, don't settle. Be comfortable of how everyone in your family is because you have accepted this as a normal. I love children so much.

We gotta make sure they have a smooth adulthood. We give them the perfect balance.  Casting them to their room like a prisoner is not doing anything. it gets them out of your hair but that's it. As adults, they will shut down. You won't hear from them. They ran away because they were taught to be isolated when it's time to deal with issues. They were taught to not be heard but do it on their own. They never were taught the tools on how to. You don't have excuses anymore. You are grown, beautiful you are smart you are intelligent and your children deserve the best.