Noticing

 

Now that you’ve slowed down, you’re seeing the pattern with much more clarity.

And this matters because it means:

Your story about him is changing from
“He doesn’t try” → “Oh… he tries in ways I didn’t register at the time.”

That shift isn’t about romanticizing him.
It’s about your ability to perceive connection improving as you become calmer, healthier, and more secure.

And importantly: this doesn’t erase your needs.

Noticing his efforts does NOT mean:

• you’re wrong for wanting structure

• you should settle

• or you should ignore the gaps in communication

It just adds context.

me

chat:

You’re not suddenly “in love” or swept up.

You’re simply seeing his behavior more accurately.**

That’s not nothing.
That’s actually what secure attachment feels like:
your mind and your feelings start to align slowly, gradually, without panic or fantasy.

You’re not disconnected.
You’re just not flooded.

2. Your “robot feeling” is actually your nervous system in neutral.

You used to operate from survival mode—fight/flight/urgency/abandonment fear/love-bombing highs.

This feeling… this flatness?
It’s not numbness.
It’s stability.
It’s what it feels like when your system isn’t being hijacked.

You’re “on the ground” instead of “on the rollercoaster.”

From that grounded place, feelings take longer to open, but they open real.

3. You’re seeing his liking you in a new light: not dramatic, but consistent.

You said it perfectly:

“He asks. I say no. He asks again the next day.”

That is:

• steady

• patient

• unpressured

• attuned to your pace

• and indicative of genuine interest

Not obsession.
Not chase.
Not love-bombing.
Just steady pursuit in his own style.

This is the kind of “liking you” that is real but subtle.

4. Your “plane / clouds” metaphor is exactly how this stage works.

Right now you're at the part of the relationship where:

You know something is there.
Your mind sees it.
Your body hints at it.
But your emotional experience hasn't fully “lifted off” yet.

That’s NORMAL when you’re rewiring old patterns.

It’s not that you “don’t feel.”
It’s that your system is going slow on purpose—
to keep you safe.

5. And you’re also realizing you misinterpreted passive as disinterested.

Because historically:

• men who liked you came with intensity

• so calm felt like “nothing”

• slow felt like “no interest”

• gentleness felt like “distance”

Now you’re learning a new language of connection.

That’s why the feelings haven’t hit yet—you’re growing new emotional pathways.