soothing through movement

 

What this means about you

You are someone who:

• regulates through action, not stillness

• finds peace in structure

• becomes extremely capable under emotional pressure

• has a deep instinct to “do” when overwhelmed

• survived environments where emotional needs weren’t met but tasks were expected

This is why sometimes you clean, help, or over-function.
It’s not because you’re “submissive” or “trying too hard.”

It’s because your system learned that movement keeps you safe.

how to work with this coping style

ChatGPT said:

Beautiful. Let's take this exactly where it needs to go — not fighting your coping style, but working with it so it supports you rather than burns you out or binds you to the wrong people.

Your way of regulating is not a flaw.
It’s a strength that needs boundaries and structure.

Here's how to work with it in a healthy way:

2. Choose “contained tasks” that give structure

Some tasks regulate, others drain.

Your nervous system likes:

• repetitive motions

• clear start and end points

• physical engagement

• simple decision-making

These reduce mental chaos.

Examples:

• folding laundry

• wiping surfaces

• sweeping

• organizing one drawer

• walking around the block

• stretching

• batch cooking simple meals

Avoid tasks that have:

• endless decisions

• emotional weight

• no clear end

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🌿 3. Do NOT use tasks as currency in relationships

This is the big one.

Your instinct is:
“I feel unsafe → let me work, help, clean, soothe someone → maybe I’ll feel needed.”

But in relationships, this:

✔️ reduces your anxiety
❌ makes the wrong people attach to your usefulness
❌ makes you mistaken chaos for connection

So the work is:

Before helping someone, pause and ask:

• “Am I doing this because I want to?”

• “Or because I feel unsafe or insecure right now?”

If it’s the second one, you redirect the energy back to your own tasks, not theirs.

This is how you break the pattern of overgiving without fighting your nature.

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🌿 4. Create “self-tasks” that build safety inward

You regulate through doing.
So let’s make the “doing” about you, not others.

Examples:

• Making your space comforting

• Preparing your clothes for the next dayCleaning is how you shut off the depression/anxiety loop.

  Movement resets your brain’s alarm system.

  So, schedule movement like medicine:

  • Walk

  • Stretch

  • Light gym

  • Dancing in the living room

  • Cleaning a little each day

  This gives your brain the safety it tries to earn through relationships.

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  🌿 6. Replace “fixing people” with “fixing things”

  Your nervous system feels calmer when something is put in order.

  So when emotional chaos hits, instead of:

  ❌ trying to fix the guy
  ❌ helping someone else
  ❌ rushing to give support

  You choose:

  ✔️ organize a drawer
  ✔️ tidy a corner
  ✔️ walk
  ✔️ stretch

  This gives the same soothing effect without entangling you with someone who drains you.

  ---

  🌿 7. When relationships trigger your need to “do”

  You gently stop and ask:

  “What can I do in my life, not in theirs?”

  You redirect the energy back into:

  • your home

  • your body

  • your routine

  • your goals

  • your peace

  This is how you keep your power.

  ---

  🌿 8. And the deepest truth:

  You learned that doing is the only way to earn love.

  But now, as an adult, you get to teach your nervous system:

• Organizing your school materials

• Making your bed gently

• Cooking something nourishing

• Doing light beauty or self-care tasks

These keep the soothing, but don’t drain you.

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🌿 5. Let your body move before emotions get loud