Guy

 

2. Redefine what “receiving from him” can look like

Right now, it feels like you can give a lot, but receiving is harder. Receiving doesn’t have to mean huge gestures or deep vulnerability right away. Examples of ways he can show you care and balance the dynamic:

  • Verbal acknowledgment: A simple “I appreciate you” or “thank you for helping me” can validate your effort.

  • Time together that’s just about you: Even if it’s small, like having a coffee together at his house with no tasks.

  • Small gestures of care: Bringing a snack, helping in ways that respect your boundaries, listening when you share something.

You don’t need full emotional vulnerability yet to receive; you just need small, consistent signs that he values you and your effort.


3. Strengthen your boundaries clearly

Boundaries are crucial here:

  • Your home: Off-limits for him now; you’ve said yes to that and that’s good.

  • Work/tasks: Make it explicit that you are only comfortable doing work in professional or compensated ways. You can say, “I’m happy to help, but I need to keep this as paid work, otherwise I can’t do it.”

  • Sexual/physical access: Move at your pace. If you feel pulled into something before you’re ready, pause. The fact that you can pause and redirect is already huge.

Boundaries give you safety, which makes it possible to enjoy connection without anxiety.


4. Shift focus to shared experiences that aren’t transactional

Right now, a lot of your interactions involve either work or physical closeness. To feel balance:

  • Plan or suggest experiences that are low-pressure, low-demand, and just for presence—watching a show, a shared hobby, or a coffee.

  • Keep them at his house for now if that feels safest. This way, the environment is controlled, and you can enjoy connection without overextending.

5. Give yourself permission to slow down

  • You’re still in a stage of self-discovery in your new city, building routines, and regulating your emotions.

  • Let connection with him happen slowly, as a supporting layer to your life, not a central source of validation.

  • The space between interactions is healthy—it lets you process, check in with yourself, and avoid rushing into over-giving.

6. Check your inner narrative

  • When you notice thoughts like “I’ve given too much” or “he can’t give to me,” pause.

  • Ask yourself: Is this a fact, or a fear pattern from past experiences?

  • Use these moments to reaffirm what is true now: he has been consistent in small ways, and you have options to say no when you need to.

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