Thoughts

 Then say (silently or out loud):

“I can care without chasing.
I can love without leaving myself.
My heart stays with me.”

This directly addresses him, your aunt, and the pattern:

“What I gave mattered.
I showed up with love and integrity.

I don’t need to be chosen to be worthy.”

About the rejection feeling (this is key)

He did acknowledge you — “medicine” is not nothing.
What hurts is not that you weren’t meaningful.
What hurts is that meaning didn’t turn into closeness.

That gap activates the old wound:

“If I mattered, why am I alone now?”

But here’s the truth your nervous system hasn’t caught up to yet:

Someone can deeply receive you and still not be able to stay present.
That’s about their capacity, not your worth.

Distance ≠ rejection
Silence ≠ erasure

Grief ≠ lack of care

But your body doesn’t know that yet — so we soothe it.

One last reframe (very important)

Instead of asking:

“How can I not care as much like everybody else?”

Try this:

“How can I care while staying with myself?”

You don’t need to become colder.
You need to become anchored.

And you already started:

• You noticed the pattern

• You stopped it

• You held a boundary

• You didn’t reach out

• You’re naming the ache instead of numbing it

That is not weakness.
That is emotional maturity in progress.

If you want, next time we can gently work on: