Mad

I'm so angry that I can't even write. Realizing the truth, it's just me, myself and God. I will just follow Him and stop trying to make friends and be there for people, and extend myself to people who don't do the same.

Right now, I'm going to do me. Create the success.
Nothing and no one is holding me back anymore.
I have lost everything. There is nothing else!!!
Got thrown in the shark tank. Sink or survive, there is nothing else.

Money is important. I'm finding out how important it is. You need it to eat, need it to have a place to live. Following passions and not making money off  it is no longer an option. So I need to focus, get my money up before I end up in the streets. Get my money up, get a car no longer walking home an hour and a half after church service. Get these braces fixed, and glasses because the old ones broke. Start seeing the light not just the blur. Yeah, it's real. A couple more days until the end of the month, when the rent is due and the truth is told. Where am I going to live? Will I fail? Will I succeed? Does God want me here? And will His grace make up for my mistakes?

Momentarily took my eyes off the target because of instability in my life. I'm sorry Lord, I repent for I misused money. I see just like people, you have to show it that you care. Not just throw it away like the trash is a good place. I get it, really. Let's call this a lesson learned. And I'll see you at the top because there is nowhere else to go but up when you have hit rock bottom.