I need you

It's summer time. Fun, fun fun!!! right???

Wrong, today I'm taking a shower and I started crying.

I started thinking of Omar, and Jayden and the kids.

I haven't found a job yet (for July and August). School's back on in September.

I just feel like I don't like my life without the structure of having to wake up and be somewhere at a certain time.

Without a job, I find myself walking the streets. Spending money on clothes, food, entertainment.

My only duty is to find a job, I've applied in a couple of places.

I end up staying up at night, not sleeping. Not a regular sleeping schedule and the days are going by like it's a rest, a vacation, but nothing getting done.

I like being up at 7am and having to be in school at 8:30am and get out at 3:30pm and then thinking what else should I do with my day? I'm already up and going (I'm not a morning person) and more productive that way.

In good news, I visited Douglass campus today in my alma mater and it is beautiful. The fountain is shining bright. I also have a new relationship that I'm stepping into (crossing my fingers it goes well.)

I'm learning a lot about myself, but mostly without my purpose of serving others I  just consume myself into a black hole of an empty soul that has no purpose. Not cool. Need a job, like by today.