I need you

I need you

all this time I thought you needed me
but today I realized that I need you

I need you kids
you show me how to be
you give me a space to be myself
there, in the front of the room
you are sitting in your seats
patiently waiting for me to speak
the only space in my life
where the room doesnt move
unless I want it to

and you wait for my directions
you look for me to be assertive
and here it's not called being a bitch
it's called being a teacher
and I love it

when I started I was having problems
having a voice
i wasn't allowed to speak in my home
my voice wasn't welcome
but oh! around you
you didnt move until I said so
and your eager minds
and energetic bodies
had to stop and think and listen
and what's the lesson?
what are we learning?

All this time I thought you need me
but today I realized how much I need you

I need you to look up to me
it makes me make better choices
I need you to want me to speak
it reminds me that I have a voice
I need you to tell me that I'm wrong
and I need you to encourage me when I'm right

I need to have someone to teach something to
doing this makes me feel like I have some use

and giving you all the head knowledge I have
accumulated throghout the years
compares nothing to the care that I can show you
that I believe in you, that you are going to make it
and I see so much light in you
and I want you to let it shine

and I wish I could have the opportunity
everyday to be your teacher
to be your confidant
for those 40 minutes
teach more than just art
or music, or english or science
doesn't matter the topic
i want you to teach you to believe in yourself
even when no one believes in you

I want to teach the girls that they are beautiful
I want to teach the guys that they rule
I want you all to be yourself
and feel free to be free
to fly with arms wide open
to love, without being afraid to fall

I want to be your teacher
because it gives me purpose
because my days are meaningless without

because without you to help
or teach or be responsible for,
my life just becomes about me
and the next outfit I can buy
and the next adventure I can go on
and what more can I consume
I am like a baby brat, eating and eating
consumption, consumption
but the soul is empty

so I fill these pages with the things
my actions say
I thought you needed me
but I found out today 
just how much I need you

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