Today 1/13/25

 I feel like I need to go to the deli. I need to see real people yoooo.


Anyways, I had a great day. I saw a celebrity. the guy that is dating Dru. 


It was his face, with a beard. He is way taller than I thought. it was a moment like I could have missed it.


This is the 5th celebrity. I couldn't believe it. It made me feel like life is full of possibility. I seen him on TV, and here he is, in my Trader's Joe.


I also was grateful. grateful for the sunlight today, as it shined throughout the window screen. 


Grateful I thought of Trader Joe's in Miami, but God made it come true that I live by a Trader Joe's now.


I am not a rich woman yet, someone that can make decisions about where she is at. 


The loss of autonomy that lack of riches bring a sense of childness. I am raising a child. 


God provides everyday. today my friend sent $20. I was able to eat, get outside. the sunlight hours are done.


I hope tonight I have a better night than last night. But today, that moment, it was magical.


I prayed what to do, 'double dutch' I heard/ thought. I went to trader Joe's because I saw people with amazing plants with the trader Joe's bag. I was like can I go? yes, of course. Free will! I went and that's all I reviewed the plant.e


After the Dutch place, went to the plant nursery, i'm trying to buy a companion. its not a dog or a cat or a Sonic. Its a plant, a plant I can talk to, have coffee with, non committal. I asked Tia if I was too much for what I said yesterday, and she said no, she was agreeing with me. the things Chat said sounded like Tia's life.


While watching the sermon, the spirit of offense came up. I was like, is my cousin shaming me? the sermon was great. I thought, I know these scriptures. this is what the sermon is about? then I checked myself, prayed against that. I said let every thought come captive and forgot the rest. I sent her the scriptures I've been reading and what God is showing me. 


Sometimes I feel so out of purpose God. I am here in this room, in this shelter. Everyday doing the things that are ahead of me to do. it felt bad not to be 'chosen' even though when he kissed me I felt chosen. when he touched my body suggestively I felt chosen. when he exposed himself, I did not feel chosen. I felt disrespected, I felt like he was entitled. I felt like it was too much. 


I AM A NEW CREATURE IN CHRIST. help me with temptations. Flee from sexual immorality. Just flee, leave, go! It will get you. 

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