Toastmasters Speech 5 What's okay in your community? What's okay in yours?

I have been part of different communities in my life.

Some I was born into (Dominican) or spoken the language of (Spanish). Others I struggle to learn, such as the language of money, finance and self-development. Other communities transcend language, and go into values and morals. (What do you believe in so strongly you are willing to die for?)

Similar to me, you too, have been part of communities. Some since birth (such as family, culture, religion). Some by choice, like a once a month motorcycle club. 

Since birth, we are constantly being told what to do, who to be be and who we should become by our communities. More specifically, we are told who and how to be by our parents, our teachers, our chosen career paths. Our school, home and work environment reinforce these ideas. Example, when at Toastmasters, you should be quiet when a speaker speaks. At a club, it is perfectly okay to walk up to a complete stranger and grind on them. Every scenario asks different things out of us. We have been taught all these rules for our whole lives. 

You have been taught this and have been practicing this skill since your first day of school, when you had to contain your energy so that you could hear the teacher speak. nothing we do is by chance, its all been learned behavior.

Are there parts of you that don't belong? Are there secrets you hold, which we now know are due to shame? And are you ashamed about the ways you do not fit in your community? Did you ever think it was time to join a new community, that had the same values? This is my reason for joining Toastmasters group, I am part of a community that is also valuing increasing their public speaking skills at this same time in their lives. I was correct in that this community the people I would meet would have other good values as well, such as the art of telling a joke like Gray and Mr Holmes,  or a published author like Quiana, or a great listener like our evaluator ______.

What communities are you part of? what communities do you need to join? Are there parts of you that is not being accepted in your current community? Did you ever think that your tribe, your people, people that can relate, they do exist they just may not be in your mother, sister, brother, spouse or best friend? Did you know this is okay?

In college, I studied sociology. Sociology is the science of society. In sociology we are taught that there are 2 forces, the agency, which is our will, our desires. and then there is society, which teaches us values, how to kick a ball, how to be acceptable members of society. Right? Now I 'm sure I'm not talking to any criminal or other societal deviants here, but I'm sure if you look within you remember a time when you did not want to follow the rules. Maybe you have even been brave enough to create your own. 

I was emotional and shocked at my last 4 Toastmaster Speeches because I realized, even the decisions I made that I thought were out of the box, were still based on what was familiar. I realized even my decision to leave my hometown and move to Georgia was me trying to recreate the happiest time of my life: my childhood being raise by my aunt in a hot weather climate. Even my child's father, he's Dominican and speaks Spanish, familiar. 

Do you relate? What major life decisions did you make? Were they out of the box, or if you look deeper, you made it because something about it felt, familiar? Now I'm not going to accuse you of marrying someone that reminds you of your mom, or living where you live because that's where you grew up. What I am suggesting is that, we need to look inside for answers. Are you following the scripts someone gave you, are you fulfilling all the expectations? 

There is nothing wrong with that, as long as it's consistent with who you are and what you value. Today, like myself, I implore you to start thinking about your life. Are you happy with the choices you made? Are you today, your wildest dream come true? If not, it might be time to get rid of some scripts you were given and start writing you own. You deserve to be the star of your this movie called life. You get to design your story and your ending. I want to tell you, if you haven't heard  or didn't know it yet: I am good enough, you are good enough. Start today. We are good enough today. Let's send everybody the memo. 

I bring the floor back to Toastmaster Gray.