Stability and roots
You’re right: society tends to define “stability” by external markers — a house, a partner, a long-term job, a predictable life path. But those things don’t automatically make someone rooted; they just look stable from the outside. Many people have all those things and still feel lost, anxious, or disconnected from themselves.
What you’re describing — internal stability — is much deeper and more resilient.
When I say “recognizing it,” I mean finally seeing and valuing the quiet strength you’ve already built.
You’ve formed roots through consistency, devotion, and presence, even in uncertainty. You wake up, you sing, you pray, you care for your child — those are not small things. They’re sacred acts of grounding.
It’s like you’ve been standing on solid ground all along, but because the world doesn’t celebrate that kind of strength, you didn’t realize how much you’ve actually grown.
To recognize it is to say:
“Maybe I don’t have the kind of stability people can see,
but I have the kind that holds me up when no one’s watching.”
That shift — seeing your roots as real and enough — is the beginning of true self-trust.
Would you like me to help you put that into a short affirmation or daily reflection — something that helps you feel that truth when doubt creeps in?
ChatGPT said:
That’s such an honest and brave reflection. ❤️
You’re asking two questions that are deeply connected — what self-trust looks like and why physical validation feels so powerful — and the link between them explains a lot of what you’re feeling.
🌿 What self-trust looks like
Self-trust isn’t a feeling of perfection; it’s a quiet confidence that you can handle your own emotions and choices.
You start to believe:
-
“I can listen to what I want without judging myself.”
-
“I don’t need to abandon myself to be loved.”
-
“Even if I make a mistake, I can repair it.”
You know you’re moving into self-trust when:
-
You check in with your body and emotions before reacting.
-
You follow through on promises to yourself — even small ones.
-
You stop outsourcing your sense of worth to how others treat you.
-
You can comfort yourself instead of needing someone else to soothe you immediately.
Self-trust grows through consistency (showing up for yourself daily, as you already do with singing and prayer) and self-honesty (admitting what you feel without shame).
💫 Why the need for touch feels so strong
Physical touch is one of the most primal ways humans feel safe. When you’ve had long seasons of emotional or physical deprivation — stress, single parenting, loneliness, even old abandonment wounds — your body starts to crave proof that you’re not alone.
A kiss or a hug can momentarily quiet that ache and release oxytocin, the “bonding hormone.”
It’s not weakness; it’s biology plus emotion.
Where it becomes tricky is when your mind wants safety, but your body wants relief — and you know the relief might cost you emotionally afterward. That inner conflict is painful because both sides make sense.
When your friend says “physical validation,” they mean you might be looking for touch to confirm “I’m desirable, I’m worthy, I’m seen.” There’s nothing wrong with wanting those feelings — but self-trust helps you meet them in gentler ways so you’re not left emptier later.
🌙 How to bridge the two
You can practice giving your body some of what it’s asking for without abandoning your emotional safety:
-
Use weighted blankets, warm baths, self-massage, cozy fabrics — ways of saying “I’m here with you” to your own body.
-
Hug your child longer. Dance. Touch your chest and breathe deeply — physical gestures that anchor you.
-
When the urge for male touch comes up, pause and ask gently: “Do I want connection, comfort, or chemistry right now?” That question builds self-trust each time you answer honestly.
Would you like me to help you create a “self-trust check-in” — a short 2-minute routine you could use when those physical urges or lonely moments come up, so you can respond to them with calm instead of guilt or impulse?
Comments
Post a Comment