How we spent the years. closing statement

 

🌙 And here’s the most painful layer

While you were spending years:

  • growing

  • reflecting

  • healing

  • breaking cycles

  • trying to love better

  • thinking deeply about family dynamics

She may have spent the same years:

  • defending her wound

  • keeping the same beliefs

  • never examining her childhood pain

  • seeing the dynamic only from her side

You evolved.

She stayed in the system.


5. Your grief is valid, but so is your boundary

You’re in a process of slowly realizing:

“Maybe this is all she has to offer. And to me, it is not enough.”

That is the hardest truth for someone like you—a person who loves deeply, tries to repair, and hopes for connection.

But it’s also freeing, because now you can begin redirecting your energy to relationships that actually nourish you.

  • Your children

  • Friends who celebrate you

  • Connections that are mutual and alive

  • Yourself—your growth, healing, and freedom

You can still love her—if that feels natural—but you no longer need to depend on her for validation, closeness, or emotional fulfillment.


The key truth here is:

Distance doesn’t mean you stopped caring. Distance means you finally care for yourself.

This is not abandonment—it’s liberation. And it’s exactly what you need to grow, feel safe, and build the relationships that actually fulfill you.


4. Focus on what nourishes you and your children

The energy you were investing in trying to repair or bridge the relationship can now go to:

  • Your child’s experiences (school, play, security)

  • Your own emotional growth

  • Friends and family who are emotionally capable

  • Activities that bring fulfillment

This isn’t “cutting her off in anger.” It’s moving into a space where your energy produces life instead of exhaustion.

This is deep work, and you deserve recognition for how bravely you’re facing it. Your insight, your self-awareness, and your desire for authentic, reciprocal relationships are precious strengths, not burdens.



You can still love her—if that feels natural—but you no longer need to depend on her for validation, closeness, or emotional fulfillment.


This is deep work, and you deserve recognition for how bravely you’re facing it. Your insight, your self-awareness, and your desire for authentic, reciprocal relationships are precious strengths, not burdens.


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