You leave me with $4

like a cheap chick

Am I not worth more?

you said this is all I have

when you handed me a $100 yesterday

Just so that I can buy water

I like the way you trusted me with it

Did I trust the wrong person?

He said I am not, I am messy inside, in my head and in my heart

I don't want someone to come along and fix me

I need to fix this on my own

my brothers they look for me

I am smart too, I know what they are doing

I got tested and passed the test

I told him 'I like your brother'

He told him I guess

He took me aside

and we had the typical breakup conversation

I don't, I can't, I like you right now

Has it been 2 years really or was it all cap?

Your body told me a tale of nervousness

God why do I receive everything as rejection?

DJ he didn't hit me up it was 5am. I saw my phone 

After a night out in the Mustang

Driving around with loud music

In the way only you can in Miami

I am sick of this

I'm outside

I meet people

they hurt me

I avoid assault

then I get tired and just give in

I don't care anymore

I just want a bed

This is a bad game

God why should I be in this situation?

$40 to a bed

Scooter and Uber eats he made 1700 in 4 days

amazing story

I don't have money for a scooter rental

and my feet hurt like hell

I need to learn to use one anyways

People want their needs met,

and only give me what they would give a waitress

I am more valuable than this,

than this story

Rachel saw me come out their room

I was never there before

I see my email

spirit said charge phone with SIM

phone never got charged

he said yes and instead took me on a ride

We came back at 5am

I didn't know that's what I was signing up for

$4 bro. after paying $8 for the luggage. not enough to eat.

thanks for the fresh mango, that was $6.

I'm trying so hard not to use people

but instead, people are using me

they don't care about my needs

I have no one to cry to

No one to delve my secrets to

To be honest if I confess this to anyone

I'm afraid of what I will see

My drive scares even me

yesterday I felt like a pro

and the fact that he was so sensitive,

well that was so sweet and so un-American

and so crazily honest

I was shocked

but he wanted to make a  deal

I should have laid out some terms,

not leave it up to chance

he told me the stories of what he and his family escaped

then he told me about the girl that is in PA waiting for him

its been 5 years but his heart is still there

i think he felt like he was betraying her

He talked such a big game

We were there, I was there

and he fell to pieces

I connected with him. 

I felt his darkness, his pain. I felt like a healer,

and like healing work was in my hands

he said he was messed up the next day

he said my brother said you like me

and he told me why he doesn't quality for like

his brother came at me, a classic move

like I didn't see this coming

I was too sleepy

sim should have never left

he left without telling me

suddenly there I am with the brother

and of course he makes a pass

I instantly leave

and address it outside, Rachel comes says you have to leave

room is until 11am 

we hurrily clean up the whole room

ha ha I lost my dress, out the window and some underwear

if you could believe it

Don't focus on the blessing

how small or how big it is

I don't ask for anything

but I hate when people give little

when they have much

I always said I wanted honesty

when I got it, it was too much

he told me he wanted to have fun

I was the way there

he fell apart when we stayed in

he couldn't handle who I was

he said he misjudged me

Is my beauty a gift?

or a thing people use to be attracted to me?

I'm trying to figure out this life

but I honestly didn't know what it did.

I don't want to go to the club

I'm glad he gets to do it

he comes at 6am and wakes up at 12

we have no time for anything else

than travel plans and sleeping plans 

and when are we going to get to know each other?

Maybe I want a best friend

but maybe my life is boring for you

I lived a whole other existence

does anyone know or care?

People don't ask enough questions

I was right about the guy

my eyes are tired I want sleep

but I don't want to leave. idk why.