Gifts

When I was in college, my brother gave me a gold plated necklace.

I HATE gold.

I was upset that he didn't know that. I thought everyone knew that. He could have asked somebody.

When I was younger he gave me a  Golden Moments Plate with my birthday month, July on it. That memory is bad to me because I was in 8th grade and the class had just come back from Christmas break. The teacher was going around and people were saying what they got for Christmas. Everyone got clothes, and games and all this stuff. Their lists had sentences with more than one word. They got to me and I said plate. And everyone laughed. 'A plate?' teacher asked. I said, well it said July for my birthday month my brother gave it to me.

I was so embarrassed. One, for being poor I guess. That's not accurate in Dominican Republic I was poor but so was everyone else, so it didn't matter. I guess it was the economic disparity. Everyone got all these nice gifts and I got a plate. When I looked at that plate that bad memory came back to me, and I sighed with resentment. It cost me embarrassment in front of my classmates.

My brother doesn't give me gifts anymore. Now I realize that men, they need cheerleaders. And maybe we need to encourage them when they get something wrong. Pat them on the back for trying. Instead of bringing them down. Still, when it comes to gifts it truly is the thought that counts.

Years later, my sister said that my brother worked really hard and he traveled a long way to New York to get me that plate and my sister a keepsake that said November, her birthday month.  And it's not his fault everyone in my school got a lot of gifts on Christmas. And if it wasn't for his gifts, I would have had no gifts that Christmas. Wow, so I guess I have been looking at the situation wrong all these years.

I have a good brother, I just didn't like his gift. But gifts are an expression of love, and he loves me. And maybe by me rejecting his gift he internalized it as I was rejecting his love (untrue). So remember when you get a gift, that person loves you. What is better than this? To know that you are loved and have something to show for it.


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