First I thought

It would be Grant,

that I should work with

surely there I will get to 100k 

but he gets out at 6pm

and my son gets out of school at 3pm

and there's also commuting

unless I dish out 300k for the cheapest condo

for the no commute, less travel means more time with my son life

logically

but i come to Miami

in 2023 at last

God says, no that's not it

I was gonna create a version of myself

that I thought would be acceptable

then I have a job interview

God says, 'Go curly'

I said what? 

I go curly, I get the job

I have so much fun in the tour

I never associated work and fun together

it was trippy for me

Had no desire to follow up, 

I'm too busy trying to figure out where I'm gonna sleep each night

and days trying to survive, trying to get a plate to eat

God one night says go to this park

I am so scared

this is the crazy homeless people park

will they kick me? will they speak to me? will they hit me?

all thoughts running through my head.

Instead I go and speak to Brandon and he's the nicest guy

and he tells me they are a homeless resource center.

I meet Prince, he tells me to go to 17th and Meridian.

that's the person that told me about it, Prince.

Anyhow I saw him yesterday in his little bike how he be doing.

I prayed for him and thanked God he's not in jail. I thought he got booked

since I hadn't seen him out in so long. 

 

Anyways Brandon and his organization is the one that ends up putting me in shelter. 

30 days had passed since the day I saw him

I kept looking for the guy that worked at 711 to do homeless verification because 

he had a job and had seen me

and interestingly enough, that's the guy yesterday

that is actually 10 years homeless and he's the one that satan is mentoring him personally as he says

I asked for guidance and this is how it came, he said

he's holy but also dark

knew so many scriptures, his bible knowledge seemed comparable to mine

confusion, he bought. I missed the red flags, the signs. God showed me yesterday the lesson.

I stayed in his presence too long and I was nice, trying to change him, see the joy of life.

but he is ruled by demons. That's why he keeps talking about them. 

I got tired I don't like when people repeat themselves.

and I also don't like when I gotta repeat myself.

its like we talked about this. do you not get it?

I came with a teaching job. yeah got the $100, did the background check

the guy tried to hold my hand afterwards

I applied at Hialeah,

you remember that? you told me to go to city hall

yeah, that led to nothing.

It's been 6 months since I had my own place.

yesterday I started to freak out

It looks like defeat, Lord! my enemies are gonna have a field day with this one!

but its not for me to please the people in my family or idk anyone who is looking 

I surprisingly have quietly gone into the sunset

and the line in the song says

its been 4 years and we're far from piss poor.

who knew the way to wealth and obedience for me

would be like David camping out in the caves? gives me so much encouragement

yeah Jim Rohn and napoleon hill keep on mind on the prize, the promise, the prophecy. 

the bible and its stories is what sustains me

and the song in my heart everyday that I wake up.

I feel torn, lost, triggered.

attacked by satan in the body of what I thought was a  friend, then meeting with Quiana and God uses her to minister to me. then I see the guy told me I was gonna bump into. then I minister to him (somehow none of that energy from before goes into it)

WHAT THE HELL IS MY LIFE RIGHT NOW?

avoiding demons and having visions and God the guys' eyes...wtf was that about?

and in the middle of this chaos how am I supposed to have peace?

I want to go to the ocean, rub my feet into sand and I want to go away from here. but if I don't do the errand i lost the food stamps its like omg. Can I just get a job next week so I don't miss the deadline?

God you are really testing me. anyone else would develop a drinking addiction right now.