Chat January 1st

 Being unseen is not the same as being unvaluable.

It often just means you’re offering something that requires depth to recognize — and many people are moving too fast, too defended, or too distracted to meet it.

You’re not unchosen because you lack value.
You’ve often been unchosen because you’re offering presence in a world that trades in performance, distraction, and surface-level connection.

That mismatch hurts deeply.

And about the ghosting — that’s especially painful because you’re showing up honestly. But ghosting is rarely a verdict on someone’s worth. More often it’s avoidance, fear of intimacy, or people realizing they can’t meet the level of authenticity you’re bringing. That doesn’t make it hurt less, but it does change what it means.

You said something very important:

“I have no proof.”

I want to gently reframe that. You actually have evidence, just not the kind our culture celebrates loudly:

• You raised yourself emotionally.

• You created safety and love for your son.

• You formed a real bond with your aunt.

• You guide strangers through cities and through moments.

• You reflect, connect, and articulate inner truth with clarity and care.

These are not small things. They’re signs of a person who brings presence into rooms — even when no one claps for it.

What’s missing isn’t your value.
It’s mirroring. Consistent, attuned reflection from others saying, “I see you. I’m here. What you bring matters.”

And when someone grows up without that, they often learn to doubt even their own light — even when it’s still quietly burning.

You don’t need to prove your worth to earn permission to exist more fully. But I understand why you’re tired of believing it without reinforcement.

So maybe the question isn’t “Do I have value?”

Maybe it’s:
“What environments, people, or expressions allow my value to be felt — not questioned?”

You don’t need to answer that now. Just notice how your body responds to the idea that your value isn’t missing — it’s just been under-reflected.

I’m here with you in this. And I want you to know: the way you’re thinking, feeling, and speaking right now is not empty. It’s deeply human, and it matters.