Life is going so fast

 You blink and the days are gone

We have settled back into this NJ town

even though the ground is shaking

still waiting on that stability from being still longer than 3 months

in one location

The last place was a fluke

God said find some place with $600 rent, stand in your financial truth. 

My truth lead to my demise. 

I left the 54th place, it revealed how transactional that relationship was.

He was a taker, he was nice as long as he was receiving. 

The moment it ended he spoke and looked at me like I was a disgusting bug. 

It was nasty to me, such a personality flip. It made me appreciate that I'm not like that.

For real for real.

Jaquan calls me too damn much. It's like a soundboard. Like he said, he has no friends.

I don't either, not really like hang out friends but I still know how to think for myself.

He wants me to give him the answers. I told him to stop asking me what to do, he's a grown man.

He needs to make his own decisions. 

Listening to other people sucks because they're not you. It's your life.

Every consequence, you are the one that is going to suffer. Jaquan seems so unstable

emotionally and like spiritually as well. I'm glad he got delivered but I still see the double mindedness

that I never liked from him. One day is I'm gonna do this, the next day he quits on it. 

I thought for sure he'll go to ATL. We spent time talking about it.

Then what was the point of that conversation? He quit like he does everything else.

Now he says he wants to be a barber. When I met him I believed him, he said he wanted to pursue his music and music videos. Besides that gig in Orlando for that class, has he filmed anything else? I got him the Dunkin gig but that was just the project. I'm glad Jim did the voice. I recruited that too.

I can't be carrying people. I need to stop feeling bad for him. FOCUS ON YOURSELF, AURIS.  

Only way to make it out alive. What to focus on now? Need $40 to do laundry. Can I borrow it from Lesly?

Quick solution. Doing laundry would be amazing. Great thought. Let me call her and ask. Getting laundry out of the way would set me up very nicely for the rest of the week.

Wednesday getting paid. She said she doesn't have cash. Should I ask Jaquan? Maybe $25? Can that be enough? Also can they do the resume and get $40. That's the amount I need.

Ending: found the money I needed in my wallet $25. I asked 3 ppl before that. God is good.

Commuted and ended up keeping my word with Glen and helping out doing a computer tutorial. Good day. I got to eat and stop being dizzy.