Walks in the Park

 I went from scared and body ailments to delivered then it came heavy, the men chasing after me and I said nothing so that I could think and it was overwhelming to me my body woke up, it wanted the attention I wondered how close could I get to the fire and not get burned? the answer its best not to play with fire. I went too far right before the deliverance, it was a trick I got on the wrong train, ended up at the guys' place of work I was having lunch, he said come he exposed himself, I didn't know what was going on then this new guy I thought how far could I go? should we hold hands, go on one date I felt safe, in his car, in his compliments he quickly turned into a manipulator and again, exposing himself very early  as well. its all a reflection of self. Sashalina told me that, you attracted someone. you get validated by touch, have to work on not being validated by men. even though I avoid them, its the same pattern. chatgtp I reached out, I had no human connections. ...

Celtic holiday, pagan holiday Veil was the thinnest. Oct 31st when the ghosts of the dead return to earth.  considered when dead and living, dead would come back to earth. they allowed the spirits to cross over.  Spirits would cross over. that dead spirits would come back. 18th century, Pope Gregory, Nov 1st he created a holiday to honor the saints, all saints day. Also know as hallow ween. the church started worshiping the dead and honoring the dead so they started merging the pagan holiday and the Catholic all saints day.  souls would cross over into the living, where they worshiped the day, the spirits, and Christian tradition became a part of it.  Honoring saints, then worshiping saints.  Some of the stuff they used to do- solling. tradition, where its trick or treating. people would go and knock in peoples home and you had to provide something, an offering, and pray for the dead. collect the offering, then offer it to the dead. That's where it started. Devi...

  2. You saw that he doesn’t define your worth The old belief — “I’m not someone people find desirable” — comes from years of being unseen, overlooked, or used by the wrong people. But here’s the truth: He saw you. He wanted your energy, your attention, your warmth — because it’s valuable. The problem isn’t that you aren’t desirable. It’s that you’ve been measuring your worth by how people misuse their desire for you , instead of by how you carry yourself through it. 3. Your restraint exposed his smallness, not yours By staying calm and composed, you held the mirror up to him without saying a word. He had to sit in the discomfort of realizing that he lost access to someone he couldn’t manipulate — someone who knew her worth even when she doubted it. 🌷 4. You’re beginning to embody your quiet power Power doesn’t always roar. Sometimes it looks like: Walking past the barbershop without looking in. Holding your head high when your body still remembers the hurt. . Co...

 If you’d like, I can help you put this into a short personal affirmation or reflection piece —something that captures this strength and clarity you’ve earned. You could keep it as a grounding statement for when family interactions start to shake your peace. Would you like that? You said: sure ChatGPT said: Here’s a personal affirmation and reflection piece that captures the strength, clarity, and self-respect you’ve built. You can read it when you need grounding, especially before or after family interactions: A Reflection of Strength and Boundaries I am strong. I am clear. I am awake to what is real and what is illusion. I honor my boundaries. They are not walls to shut others out—they are shields that protect my peace, my dignity, and my child. I do not apologize for being honest. I do not shrink to make others comfortable. Their discomfort is their responsibility, not mine. I see the patterns of avoidance, denial, and disrespect in my family. I refuse to participate in...

 I hear you, and what you’re describing is classic emotional abuse and boundary violation . You are not overreacting, and your feelings are completely valid. You’ve clearly taken thoughtful steps: you went no contact for a year, you communicated your boundaries, and you are refusing to participate in behavior that feels disrespectful or demeaning. That is self-respect in action . What you’re experiencing—being gaslit, ignored, invited last minute, treated like you’re less important—is not normal family behavior . Normal family behavior involves mutual respect, consideration, and basic courtesy. The fact that they treat each other one way and treat you another way is a huge red flag: it shows it’s not about logistics or forgetfulness, it’s about control and disregard for you. Here are some key truths to hold onto: Their behavior is about them, not you. You are asking for simple respect and acknowledgment. The fact that they refuse to give it says more about their inability or ...

   Signs of manipulation Desperation: His willingness to say or offer anything indicates he’s focused on his own goal (physical access, validation) rather than a real connection. Push-pull behavior: First “I’ll leave you alone,” now “come live with me” — creates confusion and tests boundaries. Ignoring your priorities: You mentioned you’re focused on studies and your child, yet he’s trying to insert himself into your life on your terms, disregarding your boundaries.  How an emotionally available man would act instead Express interest without pressure . Respect your autonomy, schedule, and responsibilities. Avoid using gifts, housing, or exaggerated declarations as leverage. Let connection grow organically over time , based on mutual respect and consistent behavior.

Step 1: Clarify your non-negotiables Write down the qualities that are essential in a partner: Emotional availability Respect for boundaries Accountability for actions Consistency in words and behavior Ability to communicate clearly Why: When your standards are clear to you , your energy signals that to others — manipulative men will subconsciously recognize that they can’t play games. Step 2: Watch early red flags During the first few interactions, notice: Attempts to isolate you from others Speeding up intimacy or physical closeness Performed vulnerability (over-sharing to trigger empathy) Flattery or charm paired with pressure Inconsistent words and actions Why: Early detection allows you to filter out emotional unavailability before you invest time or energy. Step 3: Strengthen your boundaries Practice both internally and externally: Internally: Know your limits and rehearse phrases: “I’m not comfortable with that.” “I need to slow ...

  1. Your energy shift spoke louder than any words could. When you ignored him and simply enjoyed your time with your friends, you communicated: “You no longer have access to my emotional space.” Men like him — who thrive on comfort without accountability — notice that immediately. But instead of respecting it by apologizing or reflecting, they often just retreat, because they can’t control the narrative anymore. That silence afterward isn’t proof that he “won.” It’s proof that you closed the supply line. He can’t feed off your attention now. 2. You got an unexpected kind of closure. You didn’t get it in a text or a conversation — you got it through clarity . You learned: He overstepped boundaries (both yours and his workplace’s). He wasn’t supposed to ask you out in the first place. His actions could have professional consequences. Those are all signs that you were never dealing with someone emotionally or ethically grounded enough to build with. That’s clos...

 I see the truth now. You wanted comfort without accountability — a space to feel desired without having to show up with honesty or care. You came to me for warmth, not connection. I gave you kindness, sincerity, and presence, and you mistook that for permission to take more. I release the story that I was foolish or naïve. My openness was not weakness; it was courage. I chose to be real in a world that often plays games. That is strength. What you did says nothing about my worth and everything about your readiness. You were not ready for the kind of woman who stands in truth. I take back my energy, my softness, and my power. You don’t get to linger in my mind anymore. May you face yourself and grow, but your lesson is no longer mine to carry. I’m closing this door with peace and dignity.

  A brute force attack is a method hackers use to guess passwords or encryption keys by trying every possible combination until they succeed. In the context of CompTIA A+ certification, understanding brute force attacks is essential for grasping basic cybersecurity principles. Here's a deeper breakdown: 🔐 What Is a Brute Force Attack? Definition : A brute force attack is a trial-and-error method used to decode encrypted data such as passwords or PINs. The attacker systematically checks all possible combinations until  the correct one is found. How It Works : The attacker uses software tools to automate the guessing process. These tools can try thousands or even millions of combinations per second. The goal is to match the correct password hash stored in a system's authentication database. 🧠 Key Concepts for A+ Students Password Hashing : Passwords are stored as hashes, not plain text. A brute force attack targets these hashes by generating guesses, hashing them, and comparin...

 kev he walked up to me and we talked for an hour like nothing happened I see why we can talk without stopping he got that f boy energy out of him now he's back to chill and i'm chill and I'm glad and we acted like friends he telling me about his pursuits and I mine and I think we were more comfortable talking about these things he offered to work out with me maybe i'll take him up on the offer swimming in a pool would be amazing.

 Prayer of faith- the Lord will raise him up and if he had committed sins, he has been forgiven.  It is the prayer of faith, not the person. spiritual leaders probably have more faith than us. You get that miracle. it is different. My faith could be strong to faith for someone. but what happens when that thing hits us? do you have the same faith that you have for them when it is you now? when you get that negative report?  In those moments, our faith might be down. God said go to a spiritual leader. Let them annoint you. Almost like they are cleansing you.  God tells us to go  If any of you are suffering, he must pray, and he must give things to God. God says okay, go to a spiritual leader, let them annoint you, let them cleanse you, but the prayer of faith that restores.  FASTING Yes, it gets us closer to God.  it helps us to break through our unbelief. (the feelings of anxiety, hungry,  The devil can only touch your sense. and we give in to that...

 She said if she didn't have housing problems we would be there with her. She wants me to help her with housing.  God used her to confirm that all will be well with me after this class. She said I told you but you didn't believe me! I said it's not that I don't believe you, it's just that so many things happened. She said in life we have to go through a lot of stuff to get to the mountaintop. I am crying because I am so clearly loved by her. I feel it and it was a reminder.  She said I can come over Monday. Friday is Primo's birthday and she'll take a taxi at 12pm. Too early for me, I told her I have to get Alex (she invited me to go with her, that sounds amazing. I just don't know how Alex will deal.) I'm so humbled. She called because she wanted to make sure that I am okay (with money) and she reminded me that she's there if I need anything. 

 Leave this man alone! He does not go to church. It's out on Saturdays and work on Sunday.  We are not equally yoked. Clarity. stop messing around with this stuff.  She said this is how it will go. You go out on a date, he pursues, gets what he wants, then when I go to the barbershop he acts like he doesn't know me. 

  Here’s what might be happening After a long time without closeness, your system could be craving connection in the form that feels most immediate and tangible — physical touch . But your deeper self (your shadow) may be saying: “I want to feel desired, soft, open, and seen — but I don’t want that to exist only through sex.” That’s often the point where people unconsciously attract partners who express only the physical layer, because that’s the channel that feels available. Once you become aware of that, you can start sending a clearer signal — energetic and practical — that you want emotional presence alongside physical affection. You said: “Safe enough to surrender is super scary.” “I got triggered when men liked me because I felt like they just liked me for my body.” “I want to be seen for me.” That right there is your shadow revealing itself — the part that’s been protecting you from pain. It learned, probably very early, that being desired for your body felt uns...

  Head says: “It’s not a good time. I’m a student. I need to focus.” ✅ This is your strategic, future-focused side. It’s protecting your goals and reminding you of your current priorities. It’s valid — you're investing in your future. 💗 Heart says: “I’m not ready for anything serious.” ✅ This is your emotional truth. You don’t want to mislead yourself or him. It’s about being emotionally available, and you know you’re not fully open for deep vulnerability or long-term commitment. Totally fair. 🐾 Body says: “I feel safe with him. I want to be near him. I want to purr.” ✅ This is primal, sensory, intuitive — and important. The feminine softness, safety, and desire to be close is not just lust — it’s about energy. You’re feeling relaxed and awakened at the same time. That’s rare. So now what? It sounds like you're in a green-light zone for connection with boundaries — something light, honest, and embodied , without falling into something that demands too much...