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Identity- new story

You don't have to arrive at some future version of yourself before you're worthy of love. You're already His. And I would change the story you're telling yourself. Instead of: “I'm the person who isn't loved or supported.” Try: “I'm a loved woman who is learning to stop looking for validation in places that have repeatedly failed to give it.” That's a completely different identity. You're not the abandoned one. You're the woman building a life. You're not the family disappointment. You're the woman still moving forward despite disappointment. You're not the woman nobody sees. You're the woman learning to see herself clearly. You're not powerless because you can't change your family. You're powerful because you can decide what their behavior means about them without allowing it to determine what it means about you. And maybe the goal isn't to get to a place where family stuff never bothers you. ...
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Jane's dream

1) Outside an apartment. Lady is related to Jane's husband, married and has a kid. The husband would always drive their car, park their car. He is white.  Never knew he was the lady's husband. driving a nice car, sports car.  dark blue.  (parking lot of apartment building) One time, sees them all together, lady guy and their kid. they say hi to you. She says hi. Jane's husband saw her too. Later on, husband calls and says lady made goosie (traditional soup). normal dish, make it in bulk.  Jane got upset. I just saw her, I just said hi, why didn't she tell me to come over? why didn't she call you? Jane's mom calls her and says "Oh this lady told me she made goosies maybe you guys should get some." Jane says why she is telling everyone but me?  ***Jane feeling excluded** 2) Amaka, this time Jane goes into her apartment and she's there. there's all these people in her apartment. she's helping them get ready for a wedding. she was doing her mak...
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Today

 What do I feel? I am not sure. I cleaned, I should be happy. the bathroom is sparkling. really, I usually love after I do things.  it's almost like i'm mourning. Realizing that this is it. this is my new reality. I am a person with no family. I am not going to go.  they wont call. the holidays will be me and my son. why am I sad about that? isnt it how its been? I'm relying on them to be family.  it hasn't been family for a while huh. I wanted to create my own thing and I struggled. I have no vision right now of the future. I feel like I'm in a windowless room.  What's the next couple of years going to look like?  wake up Auris. not inspired right now. I cleaned. do the fridge, do your hair. go to your classes. when will it get better? what hope do I have? I have no idea.  I have no idea. when you are lost, go back to when I had it.  I had it when I was in MIami. I cried when I saw a palm tree. and the sun shining on the waves was always so amazi...
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Song

 Mama told me not to trust the guy that steals my heart now he walked out of my life, my world is falling apart he took me from another why did I fall this time? I had somebody who, I thought was already mine.  now I am left with no one  I guess all is fair when it comes to love and war playa be a playa  cheater be a cheat
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Feelings

 I miss miami I miss the heat oh how I desire to have my own place thoughts of future scare me I keep praying for a door to open you opened a door for me to be here. remeber that word? I stand in the hallway waiting for that door to open and you made a way for us to come here. why do I feel so alone? so lost? so directionless. feeling like I waste each day?  Son is sick I start crying. I was cleanig, the bathroom looks great.  bleach got out all the stains. 
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Jane- Dream 2

Mother is getting free stuff/ attention She represents the confident part of yourself. In the dream she is confused why it was happening. You're like this. Example:
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Jane's 2nd dream

Driving in NJ Passing my aunt's Grace (5 kids) house I see through her front door, watching a  TV screen, a projector.  front door turned into a TV screen. she's taking pictures of herself. video of herself. posting it in Whatsapp status. she looked so different. modelesque.  long hands, long arms.  Jane 0 I don't remember her looking like this. she looked really good. Jane sees her as a trophy wife. someone that is valued for her looks.  a part of her started feeling insecure about herself.  Let me go, let me leave this area. son was in the back of the car. all of a sudden, shes outside coming to take her son. bring him in the house. she was happy to see him. The dream ended.
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