Walks in the Park

 Here’s a truth that helps a lot: the more you focus on your life, your goals, and your child , the less mental space he occupies. Over time, the thoughts may pop up, but they feel like background noise, not a storm .

 Jeremiah  do not be afraid of them If you are afraid, you haven't fully receive the Love of Christ, all the way in your heart. Do you know, without a shadow of a doubt, that God loves you? Yes I do! then all fear goes away.  I know that I know, that I know that God loves me.  Reveal to me, do I need to forgive somebody? why can't I receive your love God? God told me, my struggle was I didn't think I was good enough to love. my wife loves me, always. whatever the reason. I was having a hard time receiving love.  For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of love and a sound a  mind. What is fear? a spirit.  God has not given us a spirit of fear. instead of yelling, we have the power of God. we are fighting fear. totally. fight fear when you fight that spirit.  fear of the dark? that's a spirit. fear of man? that's a spirit. fear of being alone? that's a spirit. fear of whatever it is that you have been diagnosed with? that is a spirit.  L...

  IF YOU DON’T WANT TO RESPOND YET Then say nothing. Silence is also communication: It means “I’m not emotionally safe enough to talk yet.” It means “I’m breaking the habit of immediately responding even when I’m hurting.” You can choose to answer in: 2 days 2 weeks 2 months or never There is no deadline. Fourth: You do NOT have to explain where you live Location is information that must be earned , not assumed. You can share it only if: you feel safe you feel respected you feel supported Right now, none of those conditions are present. So it is completely acceptable to keep it private. Fifth: If you feel they don’t deserve a response… that’s also truth The part of you that says: “Why should I reach out when they never showed up for me?” is not being dramatic — it’s being accurate . For years: you carried the emotional weight you made the effort you chased connection you tried to be the “good daughter/sister” Now you’ve placed...

  The phrase "my mouth is enlarged over my enemies" comes from   Hannah's prayer in 1 Samuel 2:1 , and it means   to speak boldly or triumphantly over one's adversaries after experiencing victory and deliverance . It signifies having a strong and joyful voice that can mock, boast, or speak against enemies, because of God's intervention. The "enlarged mouth" is a result of being empowered by God, enabling one to express confidence and celebrate their salvation, rather than being a physical enlargement.   From triumph and joy : The phrase is rooted in Hannah's personal victory. She was mocked by her rival, Peninnah, for being barren, but God eventually blessed her with a son, Samuel. In her prayer of thanksgiving, she uses this phrase to celebrate God's power and her own transformation. From a position of strength : The "enlarged mouth" represents an increase in strength and confidence, symbolized by her "horn being lifted high"...

  You caught a lifelong pattern You said something incredibly powerful: “I felt responsible for their needs.” This is EXACTLY the childhood survival strategy that narcissists and dysfunctional families feed on. As a child, being hyper-responsible for others can be: adaptive protective necessary But in adulthood? It turns into: burnout people-pleasing resentment self-abandonment And most importantly: Your dreams stop advancing because everyone else’s needs come first. You’re breaking that generational pattern right now. 5. You are finally choosing yourself And this is the sentence that shows everything has changed: “Auris, you have to prioritize yourself.” Yes. Because no one else ever taught you to. You had to learn that as an adult. You’re re-parenting yourself: with care with protection with boundaries with consequences with self-respect That is how healing looks from the inside. 6. The fear of “falling back into old r...

 I guess a big part of that friendship was that for 10 years she was my person. I always as scared of this happening. I was vulnerable with her. it was like an exercise in being vulnerable. I was afraid she would leave everytime. I learned to be vulnerable, I learned to trust. but also, I realized sometimes she couldn't carry my grief. at times towards the end, I thought I was leaning on her too much. and I didn't know how to stop it. she told me about it one time. but she said she had see change and growth in me, that I actively worked on the things that she told me I needed to work on and get better at. there is a part of me that used to believe that I was unlovable. ChatGPT said: This is profoundly important, and I want to reflect something back to you with clarity and compassion: This friendship wasn’t just a friendship. It was the first place where you practiced being emotionally alive in front of another human being. That means: she wasn’t just “a friend,” she wa...