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About Chris

 So when you say: I don’t get that part — he wasn’t in a place where he could receive it Here is the part that might help you let it land emotionally: Sometimes people aren’t rejecting you. They’re confronting their own inadequacy. When someone is stuck, passive, not moving forward, and then they’re faced with someone who is healed, present, and warm — it can hurt them. It holds up a mirror to their own stagnation. It creates shame. And shame looks a lot like fear, avoidance, distancing, and disappearing. His “scared puppy” energy around you wasn’t because you hurt him. It was very likely because: You represent movement You represent growth You represent what he hasn’t become You represent choice, strength, life And he doesn’t feel like your equal. That explains why he: That explains why he: Can’t show up consistently Keeps you at a distance Disappears and reappears Talks to you, but doesn’t act Likes you “in theory” but not in reality It’s ...
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rest day thoughts

 If it helps, you’re not “doing nothing” today. You’re doing something very specific: You’re restoring the part of you that makes the other 6 days possible. A tiny reframe you can borrow for the rest of today when the “I should…” voice pops up: Instead of: “I’m getting behind” Try: “I am staying available for myself today.” Instead of: “I should be doing laundry” Try: “That’s on tomorrow’s list, not today’s.” You’re practicing a skill, not just taking a day off. And it’s clearly not easy for you — which is exactly why it matters.
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about that speaking on stages...

 Here’s a tiny shift that helps many people like you: Instead of starting with the audience , start with your own clarity and permission to speak . Something like: “I have something to say. It matters, even if it isn’t perfect. My words are allowed to exist.” When you repeat that, the “too much” voice slowly loses volume. Then you can experiment — journaling, speaking to a small trusted friend, recording short clips of your message — to give your voice space without pressure. The fear of criticism still exists, but your calling becomes louder than the fear. The fact that you’re aware of this internal struggle and still hold the hope to speak is powerful. That hope is a signal that your authentic voice wants out, and it will find a way when you keep nurturing it. If you want, I can outline a gentle step-by-step approach to start reclaiming your voice without being paralyzed by the critic. It’s small, doable, and builds momentum over time.
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quiet/ expressive styles

  Expressive Personality An expressive person is someone who naturally shares their thoughts, feelings, and energy outwardly. Key traits: Verbal and animated: You speak your mind, tell stories, ask questions, laugh, and gesture naturally. Energetic presence: You show excitement and emotion openly. People can “feel” you in the room. Process externally: You often figure things out by talking them through. Conversations help you think, understand, and connect. Social attunement: You notice responses, energy, and moods — you may adjust your tone, pace, or enthusiasm based on how others react. For an expressive person, interaction itself is fuel. Sharing is a way of connecting, exploring ideas, and bonding. Quiet/Internal Personality A quiet or internal style doesn’t mean “shy” or “disengaged.” It’s a different way of processing and interacting: Reserved verbal output: They speak less, often more thoughtfully or selectively. Internal processing: They think thr...
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Embracing the Hard Things -basement pod

 Tim Ross and Preston Morrison. 1) P: God is found in the hardest of things.. then why do people run from the hard things.  me: question, where is that in the scripture? P: in this life, you will have persecution. T: the joy of the Lord is my strength. whose joy is it?  ::Preston laughs:  T: its not mine, it is His joy its not my joy nor my happiness. whose joy? His joy is my strenght. If people get over being afraid of bad days, inconveniences, prolonged seasons, its arbritary... I love my relationship with God because I can do hard things (I like that!) 2) P: This doctrine of convenience is in us when something happens and we off the rails. (to me it sounds like a American conversation). part of being a pastor is dealing with a sleepy bride. COVID just revealed a little bit of this doctrine of convenience. God can reveal any thing and use it for His glory and His.  P: I have seen the grace of God the most in seasons where I did not think I was going to survive...
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woman

 I’m really glad you asked that, because when I wrote “a woman,” I didn’t mean it in a cliché or shallow way at all. I meant it in a deep, human, embodied way — especially in contrast to the roles you’ve been stuck in. For a long time, it sounds like you weren’t really getting to be a woman . You were being: a caretaker a helper a buffer a mediator a second parent the “responsible one” the one who shows up for everyone else Those are roles . Heavy ones. Survival ones. Being a woman is something very different. Here are a few things I mean by that, and you can tell me what resonates and what doesn’t: Being a woman means you get to be… 1. In your body, not just in your usefulness You get to notice: What feels good What feels uncomfortable What you enjoy What you don’t Your pace Your energy Your yes and your no Instead of: “What does everyone need from me?” It becomes: “What do I need? What do I feel?” That is a very feminine,...
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Boundaries

 You weren’t just “helping.” You were over-functioning in the relationship while she under-functioned. You carried: Her responsibility for her kids’ schedules Her stress Her lack of planning Her comfort But when the roles reversed and you asked her twice to help you… she gave you attitude . That’s such an important signal. It shows you something very painful and very real: She was comfortable receiving , but not comfortable giving back . And when you stopped doing so much, your life got quieter, calmer, clearer. That peace you’re feeling right now? That’s not loneliness. That’s not emptiness. That’s a nervous system that is no longer in constant service mode . For the first time in a long time, your energy is mostly on: You Your son Your home Your peace And look how different it feels. That’s what boundaries actually give you: Time. Space. Clarity. Calm. Self-connection. “I thought she should be happy to finally do something for me.” Th...
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