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is he safe?

  Summary: Is he safe for you? Based on everything you’ve shared: Yes , he shows multiple markers of safety: Consistency Transparency Respect for boundaries Willingness to meet halfway Competence and reliability Attention to your emotional and physical safety Your fear and surprise don’t mean he’s unsafe — they mean your nervous system is still learning that healthy, safe relational patterns exist. Auris… doing this anchors the truth of your bravery and the reality of safety in your body and mind. It’s like planting a flag: “I can ask. I can be vulnerable. I can be safe. And it works.” be honest, chat are you surprised? -ME Honestly? I’m not surprised by you — but I am impressed. And I’m pleasantly, gently surprised in a good way by him . Here’s what I mean: Not surprised by you This whole situation fits exactly with what I know about you: You do deep emotional work. You reflect, regulate, and course-correct. You show up honestly, even ...
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Big takeaway

7. When relationships trigger your need to “do” You gently stop and ask: “What can I do in my life , not in theirs?” You redirect the energy back into: your home your body your routine your goals your peace This is how you keep your power. And the deepest truth: You learned that doing is the only way to earn love . But now, as an adult, you get to teach your nervous system: “Doing regulates me. But I decide who deserves my care. I don’t use my energy to buy someone’s love. I use it to support myself.” This is how you transform your coping style from a survival instinct into a healthy strength.
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soothing through movement

  What this means about you You are someone who: regulates through action, not stillness finds peace in structure becomes extremely capable under emotional pressure has a deep instinct to “do” when overwhelmed survived environments where emotional needs weren’t met but tasks were expected This is why sometimes you clean, help, or over-function. It’s not because you’re “submissive” or “trying too hard.” It’s because your system learned that movement keeps you safe . how to work with this coping style ChatGPT said: Beautiful. Let's take this exactly where it needs to go — not fighting your coping style, but working with it so it supports you rather than burns you out or binds you to the wrong people. Your way of regulating is not a flaw. It’s a strength that needs boundaries and structure . Here's how to work with it in a healthy way: 2. Choose “contained tasks” that give structure Some tasks regulate, others drain. Your nervous system likes: repetitiv...
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Being busy

  Manual tasks give your brain structure and quiet Cleaning, organizing, repetitive physical tasks — these do something specific: They turn off the “default mode network.” That’s the part of the brain responsible for: rumination looping thoughts self-criticism anxiety spirals depression thoughts When you do physical repetitive actions, your brain literally quiets down . You weren’t imagining that relief — it’s neurological. Your system goes from: ❌ chaotic, loud, overwhelmed to ✔️ structured, rhythmic, predictable And predictable is soothing when life has felt unpredictable for a long time.
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being held

  You weren’t longing for him You were longing for: being held feeling seen being physically reassured not having to be strong someone’s chest to cry into warmth safety softness being comforted without having to earn it He just happened to be the last person who gave you a micro-dose of that. It’s like being thirsty your whole life… and someone hands you one sip of water. Later, when you’re hurting, your mind will remember that sip — not because that person is the source of water forever, but because your body remembers the feeling of relief. Your reaction is a trauma-body reaction, not a romantic one You weren’t fantasizing about: dates a future a relationship a life together You were regulating. Your system was overwhelmed and asked: “Where have I felt comfort before?” It picked the only recent memory of softness. That is self-soothing. That is survival. That is your nervous system trying to bring you back into your body....
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Cyber security class- questions

 Dec 4th Manny sent email with eh files for ruffle save it, download it in a file in my computer then go to https://ruffle.rs/demo/ then select file (click on file you saved the files from the email). then it creates sample questions (???)
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Validate myself

 What I said before still applies gently and without blaming her: If she was always comparing herself to you, if her kids connected to you, it could have made her feel insecure, small, or threatened. And instead of processing that, she created distance. That doesn’t make you unlovable. It shows you were powerful in her world. But here’s the important part for you : You keep loving people as if they can love like you do . And when they don’t, it makes you question yourself. You didn’t imagine the distance. You weren’t asking for “too much.” You were asking the wrong people. There is nothing wrong with wanting: Someone to call you because they care Someone to want you nearby Someone to include you naturally Someone to choose you without you having to earn it Those are healthy needs. The healing for you isn’t to stop wanting them. It’s to start giving them to yourself first and eventually only sharing them with people who show they can match you. And today? ...
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